This Place I Know
by MyColoringBook
Summary: Emma's shocked when she finds Regina on a hidden beach in Storybrooke that has become her "go to" place.She's even more shocked to find the brunette literally owns it.What effect will this shared spot have on their relationship? Regina and Henry's?This only follows the show through "Lacey" and then, events are AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome all, to this somewhat-mini fic that wouldn't leave me alone. To everyone reading **_**Piecing It Together **_**and **_**Worth the Wait**_**, I promise that writing this fic hasn't taken away from either of those. This idea popped into my head and I wrote it, while taking space from the updates I'm working on for those stories. That said, I'm planning on about six updates for this one. They're all planned out and pretty much written…most of the work will be editing them. I plan on updating, hopefully, every two or three days, so it doesn't interfere with working on other things as well. Also, I rated it M from the start, so I don't forget to change it, but nothing should be too intense until Chapter 3.**

**To give you a better idea of what this is about: The background for this story is the same as the show up until "Lacey", then it goes AU. It will be touched on in the story, but basically, this takes place three weeks after Greg and Tamara have been successfully dealt with and the magic beans have, somewhat unfortunately, been destroyed, meaning everyone is forced to stay in this world and are adjusting to that. Of course, the focus will be on Emma, Regina, and Henry. At the start of this, Emma and Regina will be realizing their feelings for each other and acknowledging them in ways, and of course, SQ will happen within the next few chapters. I'm going to warn you that it's going to be hard to like Henry, Snow, and David at first because you're only seeing them from Emma's POV. By the third chapter, I think you'll understand them more. So, please, don't be too turned off by what Emma says about them now, because in this case, things are not exactly as they seem. The other thing to warn you about is that Neal didn't make it and died, while fighting Greg. I was torn about killing him, but it does add a whole other significant level to the story that will help in bringing Emma, Regina, and Henry together as a family.**

**Ok, I'll shut up now, so you can actually read. Hope you enjoy, and please, let me know what you think. I'd really appreciate reviews, so I know if finishing the updates and posting the rest will be worth it. Thank you for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Once Upon A Time**_**, which is why I have to wait impatiently for Sunday to watch Lana Parrilla be amazing (as usual) in "The Evil Queen".**

**Chapter 1: The Feeling's Mutual**

Sunlight danced on the gravel path Emma was following, as it glimmered through the rustling green leaves above her. She sucked in a long breath of the fresh air that was free of any heavy humidity on the perfect summer day in Storybrooke, Maine. For the first time in a week, there was no rain, only a few wispy clouds, and it actually felt warm enough to be July. It was barely lunchtime, but the sheriff had found herself suffocating under all of the paperwork she had to do, so she had decided to take an early break, and escape to her secret spot that she'd discovered a few months after returning with Mary Margaret from the Enchanted Forest. The cove with its small beach had been Emma's favorite place to escape to whenever her head started spinning with the craziness that had come to define her life.

Emma's legs began to pick up their pace, as the path wound down to the beach, which she could now see glimpses of, through the shrubbery. Trying not to clumsily trip over any rocks poking up, she kept her eyes cast down most of the way, until the trail leveled out again. When she got to a small clearing between two batches of bushes covered in dark pink beach roses, she paused to catch her breath. She could hear the small waves rushing over, and lapping against, the sand and pebbles on the beach. The smell of salt hovered in the air, and two dragonflies buzzed swiftly past her, in a race toward the water. A sigh of contentment passed through Emma's lips. She made her way onto the beach, her feet rising and falling, as the soft earth shifted with her weight.

Gulls overhead got her attention with their loud, obnoxious calls to one another, as soon as she'd left the shelter of the trees. Emma guessed their triumphant screeches were because one of them had caught sight of their lunch. Whether it was a crab in some nearby shallow water or they sensed the food from Granny's sitting in the paper bag she carried, the blonde wasn't sure. Just in case it was the latter, she clutched the bag a little tighter, feeling it crumple in her hand.

The paranoia creeping within her, as the white and gray birds glided above was interrupted by the grumbling of her stomach, which had apparently overheard the thoughts of food swirling around her brain. Emma was just about to sit down, when she became aware of a foldable lounge chair and a striped red and purple beach towel resting on it, several yards away from where she stood. Before she had time to wonder whose it was, the sheriff heard a disturbance in the water; there was splashing and then a trickling sound that made her head whirl from the chair to the bright, blue bay.

When she took in the image before her, her mouth fell open and her heart went from a regular thump-thump-thump, to a speed ten times its naturally calm pace. Regina, or at least someone who looked an awful lot like the brunette, came walking out of the water and up the beach, water dripping from her dark hair and running down her skin. A black bikini was all that covered her—a more modest one, but it still revealed more of the woman to Emma than she had ever thought she'd see.

The blonde continued to stare at her, every part of her frozen except her drumming heart. It wasn't until the brunette was about ten feet away that their eyes met; Regina did a double take before she stopped in her tracks, stunned and clearly surprised at finding it was Emma who was watching her.

It was true that they had been adversaries, before the curse broke. Emma had driven into the small town in her yellow bug, waking up the inhabitants of Storybrooke from the monotonous lives they had been living under the curse. At first, she had just wanted to be sure Henry really was getting his best chance with Regina, but then, she grew attached. Her son, the people, even the woman she clashed with in every way possible, had made her feel like there was something worth staying for. And Emma couldn't deny that having the chance to pull the mayor's pigtails and keep her on her toes so often, was more than a little bit satisfying. Just as she would bet Regina couldn't deny that as much as she thought she hated Emma by the time she handed her the poisoned turnover, the challenge and shift in her life that accompanied the blonde's presence, was the biggest breath of fresh air that had come along, since she adopted Henry. The only reason it was unwelcome, or so Henry's adoptive mother had admitted during their conversation a couple weeks ago, was because of the threat Emma was to her, after Regina had settled into her role in Storybrooke, and had something that resembled a sliver of happiness.

Then, after the curse broke it took Emma a while to accept that the woman who had adopted her son was the Evil Queen, just as their son had believed. It was so difficult for Emma to see anything more than a flawed woman, like herself, who only wanted her son to love her. Once she had returned with Mary Margaret from the Enchanted Forest and Regina had saved them, she felt gratitude and respect for the other woman and could see the first specks of change in her. Unfortunately, nothing had been simple for either of them after that, and Regina was constantly teetering on the line separating good deeds and bad deeds along her path to redemption.

A battle against Greg and Tamara three weeks ago, however, had united Regina with her former adversaries, when everyone agreed that she was needed to do away with them and the threat they posed to the town. Initially, Emma couldn't tell whether Regina's allying with them was just for Henry or to protect herself, but by the time the battle was over and both of their common enemies were unconscious, the blonde could see that as true as those reasons were, there was more to Regina's choice to take their side than that. It could have been she was protective and possessive of the town, believing they were hers alone to deal with, but Emma thought she sensed a more benevolent motive in the way Regina fought for everyone.

No matter what it was, since then, a lot had changed between the two women. Sure, Regina would still speak sharply to her and always had some type of belittling comment to make, but she had lost her initial bite, and now, Emma could tell it was more out of habit and enjoyment that they bickered and bantered. Somewhere along the way, a trust had formed between them after all that they had been through. Especially, when they had saved each other's lives, while fighting against Greg and Tamara. Maybe their tolerance and amicable relationship had begun for Henry's sake, but now, Emma was aware that on some deeper level, there was a mutual understanding between them that they cared for each other.

Emma hadn't meant for those feelings to go this far, though. The similarities they shared, the night they talked because Emma needed to hear about Regina's life in her own words after Cora's death, and their agreement to find a way to work together in parenting Henry, weren't supposed to lead to anything more than an acceptance and possible friendship. But Emma couldn't push away the feelings that had her heart beating faster around Regina, the way she wanted to give Regina the happiness she so desperately worked for, for so long, and to just have the silent permission to hold her when they both needed her to. No, it definitely wasn't supposed to have gone this far. It was strange, how she had no power in fighting or denying those feelings when she was around Regina, but when she was alone or with anyone else, she forced them away, running from them and what they meant.

"Miss Swan, what are you doing here?" Regina called loudly. If the woman felt any bit self-conscious, she didn't let on, as she stormed over to Emma as fast as the flip flops on her feet would allow.

"I uh…I…" Emma heard herself stutter, blinking and trying to pull herself out of the daze she was currently in.

"You have no right to be here," The other woman stopped intimidatingly close, lifting her body forward, her weight mostly on her toes, so she stood a little taller than Emma. A breeze sprayed some of the water that had settled in transparent beads on Regina's skin onto Emma's in a fine mist, making it tingle with the cool moisture. She could feel the cold radiating off of Regina's body in contrast to the warmth and sticky drops of perspiration clinging to her own.

"Wait. Hold up," She sobered when Regina's words finally registered, and she was able to push away the urge to reach out and close the distance between them. Instead, she took two steps back and folded her arms across her white tank top. "No right? This is a beach, not your house. You can't just kick me out."

"Can't I? It's _my _beach!" Regina fumed, her hands rising to her waist; her pinky fingers resting above her clingy bikini bottoms. It had Emma wondering if Regina was that unhappy at finding her there, or if she was getting so worked up because she had been caught somewhere no one was supposed to see her; a place where she didn't need to have her guard up. Because even when it came to Emma, the mask was rarely lowered during the day.

"Only if you own it," Emma gave her a defiant look, keeping her eyes locked with the brown ones staring angrily back at her.

"Which I do," The brunette responded curtly.

"You own this beach?" She countered, obviously not believing the former mayor.

Regina rolled her eyes. "As a matter of fact, I do. I stumbled upon it years ago; a few months after the curse began. I found it secluded and peaceful, so I purchased it from the town, as my own _private_ spot to enjoy."

The blonde grunted, sounding slightly amused.

"What is it?" Brown eyes narrowed at the other woman, not enjoying how she didn't know what Emma had found so humorous.

"Oh, just something else we have in common. I like coming here for the quiet and isolation too."

"And exactly how long have you been coming here? Trespassing on my property…"

"A few months," Emma shrugged, not even remotely intimidated by the fierceness in the way Regina looked at her. "And I didn't know I was trespassing!"

"Would it have stopped you if you had?" Regina brought her arms up and folded them over her chest, waiting for an answer.

"No, but I would've made sure to plan on coming here whenever you were here just to piss you off," Emma shot back with a smirk.

"I should have figured as much considering you're still standing here," The woman swept her eyes displeasingly over Emma and turned to walk over to the chair, picking up the towel and patting her skin dry.

"I was planning on having my lunch here. You know, take advantage of the nice day," Emma mocked. "You're not really going to make me go all the way back to the station to eat? My grilled cheese is probably soggy and gross enough already."

Regina ran her hands through her damp hair, fixing it back into place, before sitting down to dry off under the sun. "What difference does it make then, if you spend more time trekking back to where you belong?"

The blonde huffed, "Has anyone ever told you, you're evil?"

"A few have mentioned it from time to time," Regina replied nonchalantly, keeping her eyes closed, and taking Emma's words as lightly as she knew she had intended them.

"I'll share my sandwich with you," Emma bargained.

The brunette opened one eye, observing the bag in the other woman's hand, her face twisting into a look of disgust. "Do you really think I'd want any part of that soggy, cholesterol-filled excuse of a sandwich?"

"But it's _so _good."

"Nothing that unhealthy can be good," Emma watched Regina's shoulders wriggle against the back of the chair as she got more comfortable, angling herself against the sun's warm rays.

"You don't know what you're missing," Emma said tauntingly, taking a seat on the ground. "I'm starving, so if you really want me to leave you're going to have to zap me back to work or something."

A sigh came from the chair. "As tempting as that is, I'm in no mood to start using magic again."

There was silence, except for the crinkling when the blonde opened the foil that covered her sandwich, as Emma processed Regina's words. "How long has it been?" There was a note of concern in Emma's voice that told Regina she genuinely cared about the answer.

"Not that it's any of your business, especially when your _charming _parents already have me reporting weekly to Dr. Hopper on my use of magic, but I haven't done anything with it, since the day I erased everything about _it_ and Storybrooke from Greg and Tamara's memories, and sent them to New York."

"Impressive," Emma finally bit into her gooey grilled cheese and began chewing. "I'd at least be using magic to get dressed if I could figure out how."

A deep laugh came from where Regina sat. "Of course, you would. However, some of us don't mind taking the time to do the little, necessary daily routines that everyone else has to do. We're also not quite as lazy, and wake up early enough to have time to get ready for work."

"What work?" She turned to face Regina, knowing the woman had been forced out of her job as mayor after the curse broke months before. Emma hadn't heard about any other employment opportunities the former-technically-unelected official had been offered.

"They may have taken my title and position away from me, but your mother was asking me a million questions a day about running this town. It was becoming tiresome, so I finally resigned to being a secret assistant to her, as long as she allowed me to keep my old office," Regina explained, speaking straight ahead with her eyes still shut. "I'm surprised she hasn't mentioned it to you. She's been getting most of the credit for keeping the town thriving, while I do almost all of the work. Of course, it's second nature to me and I'm still protective of the town I built, so I don't mind. Not to mention, if I make my first mistake in thirty years, she'll be the one who's blamed."

Emma studied the way the corners of Regina's eyes crinkled just a bit in reaction to the sunlight on her face. "Well that's pretty screwed up."

"What is? The fact that she takes the responsibility for all of my work, or that she didn't tell you?"

"Both," Emma surprised her, since she was not expecting any sympathy from the blonde. "Maybe if she told people you're helping to keep the town they're stuck in running successfully, they'd be more open and accepting of the fact you've changed."

"Perhaps, but it's fine. I don't really want, nor need their praise."

"So you're not even remotely bitter that she's getting the credit you pretty much deserve?"

"I'm actually enjoying that I can see she has stopped being the perfect Snow White everyone has always seen her as. Part of me gets pleasure out of knowing she probably falls asleep feeling guilty."

"Huh, well, that's nice to hear," Emma grunted sarcastically.

"You didn't think we'd be braiding each other's hair and having tea together just because I helped you save her, Henry, and probably most of the town, did you?" Regina turned toward Emma, eyes narrowed at her.

"Not exactly. But she is your son's grandmother. You could be a little…kinder?"

The suggestion from the other woman had Regina's lips falling into a straight line. "Why would I be? I may have done horrible things to her, but she hasn't been completely innocent in all of this. Are you forgetting she set me up and had me kill my own mother under the pretense that I'd return her heart and we'd live happily ever after?" Regina sneered. "And _my _son? How generous of you. I haven't seen _my _son in over three weeks."

Regina expected Emma to fight back, but her eyes became serious and looked out toward the water. "I promise I'm not the one keeping him from you. I tried to tell him to go see you, that he should try to work things out with you, but he's still taking Neal's death pretty hard."

"He blames me," Regina stated, trying not to let too much hurt or remorse into her voice.

Emma sighed, "It wasn't anyone's fault. He knows that."

"But he still holds me responsible," The brunette turned away, blinking from her burning eyes.

"You couldn't have saved Neal, as much as Henry wants to believe you could have," Emma reassured gently, wishing the subject had never been brought up, but knowing what she had to say now that it had. "He believes in you and his expectations of what your magic could do were way too high. Neal was on the other side of the ship. There was no way you could have done anything; not when you were also saving my ass and making sure Henry didn't lose all three of his parents."

"He never seemed to care that I was the one who saved you," The last two words sounded broken, and Emma had the impulse to touch Regina in comfort, but instead of going over to her, she remained on the ground. "You almost died."

"You almost did too," Emma reminded quietly, her own stomach churning with the words. "He's still processing that…all of it."

"It's fine, he can hate me. If he needs someone to hate," It was said firmly, and Emma knew Regina meant it, but the pained look on the woman's face, made Emma's heart ache.

"It's hurting you."

"I can take the hurt. He's hurting more. Henry didn't even get to really know his father. That's a loss I can relate to," Regina swallowed thickly, her voice catching as she thought of her now, deceased mother.

"He'll forgive you. It hasn't helped that his grandparents aren't helping me talk to him," Emma said frustrated. "They've been too caught up in keeping the town running and figuring out their own lives, now that the magic beans are gone."

"I'm not surprised. They have no reason to care about my relationship with Henry."

"I wish they would. I can see how it's not good for either of you."

"They must love that you've been defending me," Regina's words were mocking, but there was no lightness or humor in them.

"Oh, they're thrilled," Emma laughed with bitter sarcasm, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "At least they're starting to let go of the Evil Queen thing…sort of. Hopefully, they start to accept how much you've changed, especially when _you're _the one still running this town."

The words settling between them left Regina to observe Emma for a minute, silence passing over them. "I never expected you to be on my side, you know," she breathed out, and Emma didn't miss the rush of air that accompanied the words after they passed through Regina's lips.

"Yeah, can't say I did either," Emma gave a small smile that was both amused and disappointed . But something underneath it told Regina the truth was that, as unanticipated as this change between them was, she really didn't mind it. "Well, I should get back to work. Have to make sure my dad's got everything under control," Emma rolled her eyes and stood up, walking over to a trash can to throw out the crumpled bag from her lunch.

Regina watched her throw the remnants of her lunch away, before she came to stand a couple of feet from the chair she was sitting in. "You may want to…" The brunette's eyes flicked to Emma's ass, silently communicating the rest of the sentence.

"Oh," A sheepish look appeared on the blonde's face and she roughly wiped the back of her jeans, brushing off any sand. "And you might want to put more sunscreen on your face," She suggested in response, returning the favor of looking out for the other woman. "Your nose is pink. Your shoulders are kind of red too," Emma said somewhat absent-mindedly, her eyes wandering over Regina's skimpily covered body.

As Emma's eyes floated over her, Regina suddenly felt self-conscious and vulnerable. She watched Emma's face and how it darkened with lust, but there was something else there too that was tender. She studied it for a moment, until the fluttering inside of her became too much and she schooled her features into a smirk, clearing her throat.

"Sorry, dear, but the only people that can look at me like that are those who I can get to bow before me. Something I doubt you will ever do," Regina's eyes were playful and challenging, but Emma could see the unhappiness behind the smirk Regina was displaying. There was a sadness on Regina that told Emma she felt unworthy of anything beyond the shallow lust her subjects had always shown her. No matter how embarrassed Emma was at getting caught checking Regina out, it made her feel for the woman; not pity, but understanding and it made her want Regina to believe she deserved more. "Want some lotion for your walk back…your cheeks and neck are a little red."

Emma snapped out of her thoughts, forcing her skin not to become any more flushed than it already was.

"Actually, I would," Emma raised an eyebrow in determination, wanting to surprise Regina with her apparent lack of humiliation and to distract her from her thoughts. She walked over to the brunette, her palm open, and waited for the other woman to squirt some of the sunscreen in her hand. They held each other's gaze, while Emma rubbed the lotion into her skin, and then, bent over Regina, her hands resting on either arm of the chair. Their eyes searched each other's. "You're right; I'll never kneel before you. Not like any of those intimidated pigs, who would do anything to spend one night with you, so they would feel they were good enough to _conquer_ the queen, or be_ conquered_ by the queen, or whatever. I have too much respect for you for that," Emma leaned into Regina, tucking a piece of wet hair back into place that had slipped from behind her ear. Regina's breath caught in her throat at the unexpected touch. "All that was, was meaningless. Believe me, I know. And at this point, you deserve more than that. Thanks for the lotion. I'll try to talk to Henry again."

"Emma," Regina uttered, but it came out too softly, and the other woman had already begun walking up the beach. "Don't push him too much," She said loudly, finally finding her voice.

"I won't…not too, too much," Emma called, after spinning around to face Henry's adoptive mother again. "And now I'm really leaving. Don't need you throwing fireballs because I'm still here…_trespassing_."

"Once again, I'm not using magic!" Regina yelled across the beach.

"I think if I stay here any longer you'd make an exception."

Emma grinned and turned, as Regina watched her disappear through the bushes, and back to the walkway. Her absence made Regina realize that as much as it went against everything she had convinced herself to think and feel for her son's other mother, she wanted Emma to stay on the beach with her. There was something in the way Emma looked at her that told Regina she understood her; that she accepted her, and that she wouldn't deliberately hurt her. It made every part of her tremble with nervousness at recognizing Emma was obviously feeling something for her. But what made her worry even more, was that she found herself silently admitting those feelings reflected in the green eyes, matched the ones she had been trying her best to ignore in her own heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am **_**so **_**sorry this took so long! I feel so bad for making you wait for this. My laptop has a virus and is still getting fixed, so I had to retype this onto my netbook and edit it again. Then, I had to make sure my netbook was up to date with its security stuff, since I usually only use it to write and not for going on the internet. So, thank you for your patience and sorry again. I really hope this chapter was worth waiting for and that you enjoy it! Hoping to have the next chapter up in a few days…just have to add a little to it and edit. **

**I also want to thank you so much for all of the reviews! I'm so happy you liked the first chapter and have been looking forward to more. And thank you to everyone who has followed and favorite! You're the best!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2: Knowing What You Need**

The overcast sky hung dismally above her, as Emma met the breeze coming off the water, while moving closer and closer to the small, rough waves that splashed against the shore. Whether her eyes were stinging from the salty mist that clung to the air or the anger that was still bubbling within her, she wasn't sure and didn't want to think too much about it. She turned around, skimming over the small beach, searching for any sign that she wasn't alone, but found nothing that indicated Regina was there. And why would she be? It was such a dull, gray day and it was close to dinner time. Yet, a part of her missed the lounge chair and the company of the other woman; the part of her that was tired of feeling so alone.

Emma knew Regina had made it clear that she never wanted her to return to the private beach, but she had been having a bad day, and then, she fought with her parents and decided she needed to take a walk. It really wasn't her fault that she had ended up on the gravel path that stopped at the little cove; her legs had just carried her there. She hadn't even been thinking about where she was going, until she ended up at her destination.

She found herself reaching down for a flat rock and tossed it, so it skipped across the water, which rippled in response. She whirled another onto the surface of the bay and it did the same, but more forcefully. Rock after rock was sent gliding across the flow of the small wave crests, and each time Emma unleashed her anger a little more. Until finally, she was throwing her arm out fiercely and hurling the little rocks through the air, watching as they crashed into the water somewhere far away, causing it to explode in the air and rain back down.

"You're going to knock all of the fish unconscious," She heard the familiar voice warn from behind her, tinged with detached amusement. Emma was surprised she didn't jump, after believing Regina was nowhere around and she was the only one on the beach.

The blonde grunted and threw another rock, before collapsing onto the sandy pebbles and snail shells that covered the ground. She was spent; unsure of whether she wanted to break down from the emotional exhaustion or fall asleep. "Too late. I've probably hit them all already."

"I'd ask you why you're on my beach again, but I can see you've just come to destroy the wildlife," Regina quipped, noticing the way Emma had pulled a tiny flower out from between the pebbles it had grown between.

After shooting her a displeased look, the brunette laid out the dark blue blanket Emma hadn't even noticed she was holding, and sat on it a foot away from her. Regina's legs were straight, crossed over one another, as she leaned back a little, resting her weight on her palms. Green eyes roamed over the black track suit that was uncharacteristic of the former mayor's usual attire, paying extra attention to the places it hugged Regina a little tighter. Then, she turned back to the water.

"I guess I'm not feeling the savior thing today," Emma finally grumbled, twirling the little yellow and white flower, whose green stem was pinched between her fingers.

That made Regina chuckle humorlessly. "So you settle for potentially harming poor, innocent fish? How cruel."

Emma snorted keeping her sight focused on the choppy waves. "I feel like the universe should have warned them about me. It sucks that they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not my fault they happened to be in the spot I decided to take my rage out on."

"Well, for my sake, I'm glad you chose to throw those rocks in that direction, otherwise, I'd be the victim," Regina said with an almost mocking gratitude, eyeing the other woman with concern, and picking up on the dangerous way Emma's slender fingers toyed with the petals of the little flower she held. She could tell the blonde was moments from pulling the delicate floret apart. "From what I've seen, the last thing I'd want is to be on the other end of your wrath."

"Yeah, well, can't say I've enjoyed being on the other end of yours either," Emma jeered, taking the turn Regina gave her to fight back. "See, this is what happens when your parents are around the same age as you, yet hover over you like you're the five year old they missed out on raising," The blonde sighed in frustration. "And when they don't agree with your, apparently, unpopular opinions."

"Ah," Regina nodded bringing her eyes from the gloomy water they had fallen on, to the flaxen curls that tumbled over Emma's shoulders. . "I can't say I know exactly what that's like, aside from not seeing eye-to-eye with a parent, but I can understand how infuriating that must be."

"I think they'd love for me to be some kind of perfect, goody-two-shoes princess, but know there's not a chance in hell of that happening, especially when I've been defending the Evil Queen," Emma vented, eyeing the flower's immaculate petals, continuing to want nothing more than to pluck them from the golden center. She resisted the temptation, though, and stopped herself from destroying the fragile blossom even more than she already had. "I've been begging them for days to back me up on getting Henry to spend time with you and make him see he misjudged your intentions."

Regina blinked like she thought she saw something unexpected appear and had to assure herself that it wasn't there. "Your anger and the fighting with your parents are about me?"

If she wasn't so upset, Emma knew she would have laughed at the way Regina's eyebrows had risen into her forehead.

"Well, you…and me wanting to have dinner with you and Henry tomorrow night," Emma shrugged, pulling at a leaf on the stem, but letting it go before she yanked it off. She held the flower out to Regina, nudging it toward her confused gaze, until she accepted it. Now, it was hers to protect or destroy. "Oh, and their habit of making out wherever I can see them, but that's a whole other story. I should really move out."

The heels of Emma's palms dug into her closed eyes, as she tried to hide from what her life had become. Having a family came with so many complications, no matter how much she cared for, and was thankful for them. It warmed her heart and made her cringe at the same time.

A small smile tugged at the corners of Regina's mouth, as she studied the miniature daisy the other woman had given her. "Good luck. Mary Margaret will probably still insist on doing your laundry and bringing over baked goods," Regina smirked, not commenting further on what Emma revealed she had gotten into the argument with her parents about.

"Eh, the clean laundry and food I don't mind so much. Having the freedom of a twelve year old and them not helping Henry, that's what I mind. If I think it would be good for him to have dinner with the mom that raised him for ten years, they should at least be somewhat supportive. Especially, if it might help him get out of the funk he's in. But no, they finally decide it's not their place to help with the parenting and won't let go of the past, even to help him," Emma ranted.

"Not easy being a parent or child, especially when you're of noble blood," Regina commented knowingly.

"You're telling me. Some days I almost wish I hadn't broken the damn curse," the blonde huffed, wrapping her arms around her legs, as she pulled them toward her, and rested her chin on the tops of her knees.

"Funny, I've had that same wish many times."

Emma turned her head, catching Regina's eyes. "I'm sure you have. I guess no one can ever really escape their past…" She pondered out loud. "You know, I always wanted a family, but I spent almost thirty years without one. It's not easy being expected to just change overnight."

The brunette shook her head gently, aware of the understanding between them. Both women had to accept and move on from their past, and because of that, they could relate to each other's struggle to change. "No, it's not. Have you told them that?"

"Yeah," Emma sighed. "And they try to be patient, they do. But now that everything's settled down with the town, all of this adjusting is harder. I'm tired of fighting and butting heads. I just want some kind of normalcy and for everyone to let the past go and move on. Everyone's stuck here now, so might as well right?"

"I'd say that's probably the smarter option, although fairly unrealistic," Regina gave a faint smile, her eyes falling back to the flower, observing how its overall beauty hid its imperfections, such as, the tear she noticed in one of the petals and how some of the center remained green instead of bright yellow.

"If only we were all better at communicating. This town has some serious issues with that."

"Indeed. I suppose we were raised to be very passive back home and keep emotions to ourselves, until we could no longer contain them," Regina mused, her forehead crinkling as she thought it over. "Although, that doesn't explain _your _issues with communication."

"I just want everyone to try to get along," Emma said, ignoring Regina's jab at her. Silence fell over them, as Regina looked down again at the slowly wilting flower.

"Were you really going to invite me over for dinner?" She asked suddenly, brushing her finger over the petals, causing them to move with her touch, before they fell back into place.

"Or bring take out from Granny's to your place, unless you wanted to cook. Yeah," It was sincere, and the crooked, hopeful smile on Emma's mouth told the brunette how much Henry's other mom had wanted to make it happen.

A few beats passed, allowing Regina time to process the benevolent thought, before she said anything in reply. "How do I know it wasn't a plan to poison me, so I would no longer stop you from coming to this beach?"

Emma laughed and Regina smiled to herself, satisfied that she'd gotten the light, amused reaction she had wanted from the other woman. "Because I'm here anyway. Clearly, I'm not threatened by the fact you don't want me here," Emma turned her gaze from the water to the woman sitting near her, tucking a strand of hair the wind had gotten ahold of behind her ear. "Maybe I could sneak out with Henry and we could have dinner here one night."

"That would be nice, but even though I may not be the best parent, I have a feeling you should probably tell him and make sure he wants to, first."

"Maybe I'll see if Archie'll talk to him again," Emma considered, and rubbed her fingers against her shoulders, trying to alleviate some of the tightness that was becoming unbearable in her neck.

"You really are determined-"

"You're really not evil," Their eyes held each other, while quiet fell over them, and Regina took in the seriousness of the statement.

It was too much. No matter how grateful she was to Emma for believing in the transformation she was going through, while trying to bring back the person she had once been, everything about the moment held too much emotion. Her eyes flitted from the deep green ones to the gray sleeve of Emma's thin gray shirt. "I bet you're doing this because you think I'll agree to share my beach with you if you try to help me," She joked, and by the way Emma's lips curled into a grin, knew the other woman was willing to go along with the shift toward playfulness.

"You caught me," Emma surrendered with a chuckle, still kneading the spot where her neck met the base of her head with her hand.

"I think my manipulative ways have rubbed off on you."

"I think my neck wants to kill me," Emma groaned in reply.

"Come here," Regina commanded gently, shifting on the blanket, sensing what the blonde was in need of. .

"What?"

"Just do as I say," Emma looked to her skeptically, watching as the brunette placed the stem of the flower beneath a rock on the sand, so the wind wouldn't carry it away. She then scooted over to the edge of the blanket, and curled her legs under her, so Emma would have enough room to lie down.

"I'm not going to hurt you, dear," Emma saw how Regina mentally rolled her eyes, becoming impatient, when she didn't move.

"Said the spider to the fly…" She mumbled to herself, but obeyed Regina and laid face down on top of the dark blue cover, leaving the other woman enough room to kneel beside her.

Emma felt Regina gently push the waves of her hair off her back, before the woman's hands rested on each side of Emma's neck meeting the fabric of her long-sleeved t-shirt and the flesh peeking out above it. Regina's thumbs moved in circles, pressing into her, loosening the muscles that were taut with stress, starting at the center and gradually working her way down and out to her shoulder blades.

"Relax," she breathed over Emma's head.

The blonde exhaled, choosing to focus on the breeze, the lapping of the water, Regina's fingers and their wonderful movement.

"That feels good," Emma murmured, getting lost in the lulling sounds around her and therapeutic touch.

"It's been a while since I've given anyone a massage. Happy to know I haven't lost my touch."

"Don't stop," Emma muttered into the blanket, sighing in contentment.

Regina kept going, pressing harder, working out the knots she could feel through Emma's skin. She heard her moan in both pleasure and pain, as she undid a particularly stubborn knot, and smirked in satisfaction.

After a while, Emma's moans had become less frequent and intense, and Regina felt that the tension beneath her fingers had, for the most part, dissipated. She removed her hands that were becoming tired and sore from their work out, and just stared down at the woman beside her.

Part of her missed the contact she had had with Emma, and was tempted to reach out and gather the hair that was laying to the side in a wavy pile, so she could carefully place it over the woman's back again. The thought that she had already been touching her former rival for longer than she ever had, and in a relatively intimate way, was what made her think twice about doing so. It surprised her, but the last thing she wanted to do was overstep and mess up the bond that had formed between them over the past few weeks.

"That feels so much better," Emma mumbled, after a moment, and began stretching to feel the massage's full effect. "You may not be using magic anymore, but that's some magical touch you've got there."

Regina hummed in acknowledgement.

"I should go. The sun's setting," The brunette said, looking up at the darkening sky that wasn't so overcast anymore and even had some pink, purple and orange streaking through the grayish blue.

Emma rolled onto her side so she could look up at the woman who still sat beside her, and reached for her hand. "Stay," Her green eyes were more pleading than her voice. "It's your beach. You like it here."

Regina arched an eyebrow, seeing through any excuses the blonde gave her to make her stay. "That's the best reason you could come up with? The point of it being _my _beach is that I can come here whenever I want. I don't need an invitation."

"I want you to stay," Emma breathed, holding Regina's eyes with her own.

It had been so long since anyone willingly wanted her to stay anywhere near them. She looked at Emma with uncertainty and something akin to pity, and Emma could tell that Regina believed anyone who would settle for spending time with her must be desperate. "You're better company than you think you are. And you give great massages. Please."

The blonde saw the resigned look in the brown eyes, as Regina nodded, "I'll stay, but don't think you're getting another massage."

She shook her head with a small laugh, before tugging Regina's hand, silently telling her to lie down too. At first, Regina hesitated and gradually lowered herself with her back facing Emma. She felt rigid and awkward, until finally, the blonde pulled her back against her, molding them together and intertwining their fingers, resting their hands on Regina's stomach.

They settled into each other with an ease neither would have expected. Each could feel the other's heart beating wildly from both nervousness and elation at their close proximity. Emma leaned her head into Regina's, taking in the warm and soothing smell of the other woman, compared to the cooler air surrounding them.

"You smell good," Regina froze at the admittance Emma muttered against her hair. She had a feeling the blonde hadn't meant to say the comment out loud.

"It was just a compliment, Madame Mayor," Emma chuckled against her. "Take it."

"I'm no longer the mayor," The slightly biting reminder came out instinctively, wanting to steer them away from talking about any other parts of her Emma probably admired.

The sheriff once again went along with the change in direction Regina was forcing their conversation to take. "Whatever. But last time we were here it sounded like you are to me. I actually talked to Mary Margaret about that. Another part of our fight. I don't think she appreciated that you told me or that I said she should just make it known she's reinstating you."

"I told you I don't mind it this way."

"It's wrong. And you're really the only one in this town who has the right amount of experience for the job, anyway. Plus, it just pisses me off that she can trust you enough to keep managing Storybrooke, but she's worried to have you be a part of Henry's life again. He needs you."

The words hung between them for a long beat, until Regina turned to face Emma, their hands resting in the space between them, eyes connected.

"I need him," Regina breathed with a desperate sadness she scolded herself for.

Emma sighed. "I know. And I'm not good at this. I thought I could be a parent…Henry's mom, but he also needs someone who knows what they're doing."

"I'm far from the perfect parent," Regina confessed, but saw the true lack of confidence in Emma. "You just have to trust your instincts, do what you think is best, and hopefully, it will be."

"And if it's not?"

"Then, you both learn from the mistake, and if you're lucky, you move on."

"Well, I think not getting him to see you right away was a mistake."

"One that you're now trying to remedy," Regina allowed her thumb to rub tenderly over Emma's. "That's what I mean, you've realized what you could have done differently and you're trying to make it work."

All of the insecurities Emma had kept pent up rose to the surface, now that she felt someone was listening. But not only that, it was someone who wanted to listen and who she knew truly cared. And what made her even more able to open up to Regina was that she could see it in her eyes that she knew _exactly _what she was going through. "How do I know I can make this right? How do I know I'm not always going to be wondering what I could have done differently, and if he'd be better off if I had?"

"That's the price of being a parent. You just have to trust yourself and learn to forgive yourself."

"Have you?"

Regina studied the blonde for a moment, uncertain how she should answer the broad question. "For not admitting from the start that he was right about the curse? For keeping you away from each other even though he wanted you here? That was me being protective of myself and what bond I thought I had with Henry. All I can do is try to make it up to him as much as I can. I need his forgiveness for that, not my own," She shifted her head against the fabric of the blanket beneath it, holding back the moisture that she had felt forming in her eyes. "However, other things I've done wrong , such as, maybe being too strict, sheltering him…Those are things I've had to forgive myself for. I always thought I was acting in his best interest at the time, but now, I can see how it hurt him in ways."

"It really is a go with the flow and hope for the best kind of thing, huh?"

"In a way, but I've learned that just letting him know you love him and want the best for him can be enough."

"This is why we need you."

"We?" Regina could barely get the word out.

Emma nodded. "I wish someone would have said something like that to me a while ago."

"I know what you're feeling," Regina shrugged nonchalantly. "What I said is what I would have wanted someone to say to me when I'd be doubting myself after tucking Henry in at night."

"Still, thank you," A smile crossed over Emma's lips. "You could have just ignored the question or brushed it off with some stupid cliché, and you didn't."

"I love Henry. Not saying what I said wouldn't have helped him…or you," Her words were gentle, but also very matter-of-fact. "It's getting dark," Regina observed, looking past Emma and seeing the deep blue, almost black sky and the first of the stars shimmering in it.

"Worried a bear or a wolf is going to come out and attack us?" Emma teased, smirking at the way the woman next to her remained completely still, even when her eyes betrayed her uneasiness.

"Why would I worry? You have a gun," Regina reminded, her eyes shifting to where Emma had left it on the sand behind them, before she had laid down for her massage.

"Oh, so you expect me to save your life?"

"You're the one who put me in danger by asking me to stay on the beach."

"My fault as usual," Emma rolled her eyes, but the small smile she couldn't keep from her lips was the hint that she was just having fun with their banter.

"Of course," The brunette nodded in affirmation. "And this time it truly is."

"You had a choice. You could have said no and gone home to your_ castle_," Emma mocked, and lifted their hands, resting her elbow on the blanket, so she could swing them lightly, almost absent-mindedly.

"I could have," Regina tried not to think too much about the way Emma had their hands moving together.

"But you didn't."

"No."

"I'm glad you stayed," Emma's eyes met hers, slowing their hands, before bringing Regina's along, as she brought her own hand to lean against her shoulder.

"Because I smell good?" Regina forced herself to joke.

"Not exactly, but it doesn't hurt that you do," Emma smirked. Then, reached out to wrap her other arm over Regina and pulled her closer.

"What are you doing?" Regina's voice was quiet, even as initial shock and warning poked through it.

"What do you think I'm doing?" The blonde countered with a quirked eyebrow.

"Sorry, I meant, _why _are you doing what you're doing?" A bit of frustration crept into the way Regina exhaled.

"You don't want this?" The question wasn't stunned or filled with annoyance, instead, it came out as more of a dare for Regina to prove Emma's instincts wrong.

Regina continued to stare at Emma with a hardened gaze, battling with herself on whether she wanted to keep up the banter, push Emma away , or just give in. Emma returned the stare, but her eyes were more challenging Regina to push her away.

"I meant this is wrong," The brunette finally gave her a small smile, moving her arm over Emma and holding her, so the blonde cuddled into her instead. "I'm not the one who was lunging rocks at unsuspecting fish, remember?"

"Good point," Emma breathed against the soft polyester of Regina's jacket, as they both got lost in the closeness of one another, lying silently for a while.

It was Regina, hesitantly running her hand through Emma's hair that slowly awakened them from their contentment. In the growing darkness, Emma's green eyes stared up at hers, and Regina could see the reflection of the moon that was serving as most of their light. Luckily, it had made its way out from behind the clouds.

The brunette released a long exhale, as Emma shifted against her, raising herself up, so Regina was mostly beneath her on the blanket, and she was gazing down at her. Long fingers slid up against Regina's smooth, but cold cheek, Emma's thumb running lightly over her cheekbone.

Regina knew what she regarded in Emma's eyes. That look that told her she saw Regina. That she also saw her vulnerability. And that none of it frightened her. It held confidence and truth, and whispered to Regina that she was beautiful, wanted, and needed. It darkened slightly and Regina waited, partly unable and partly not wanting to move, as Emma's eyes silently conveyed that she was going to kiss her. Her heart sped up in anticipation.

But Emma never lowered her head and Regina thought twice about being impulsive and making the move herself. "I can see the stars in your eyes," Emma smiled down at her, and Regina heard the emotion in her voice. "It's funny how they're so dim when they become a part of you. Like your light can't be compared to theirs."

"Are you always this poetic?"

Emma laughed. "No, can't say that I am."

"Good."

"Good?"

"I wouldn't want anyone else to have to be the subject of your less-than-impressive way with words," But both women knew that what she was really saying was that she liked that it was only her.

"Yeah, no need to worry about that," Emma said, stroking her thumb against Regina's cheek one more time, before sinking into the blanket again and holding her. "Only the people, who involuntarily share the beach they own with me, see my amazing poetic side."

"My luck must be changing, then."

"You mean it ran out?" Emma joked quietly, knowing it was a remark Regina would normally make to take hold of the upper hand in their back and forth. However, the game they were currently playing was new and different.

Regina snuggled into Emma more. "Mmm, no. If I push aside how much you annoy me, I'd say it has gotten better."

They could both sense each other smiling softly at her words, even with their eyes mostly shut. Emma slid her free hand up Regina's leg, over her hip, and let it sit on her waist. Regina was warm against her. Her mind was telling her to kiss her. She needed to make that connection and find Regina; thank her; give her hope. Yet, she was frozen, even as the woman in her arms was melting her heart. Just as she had begun melting the heart that thought it would never love again. So, for now, their heads remained distant from one another even with their bodies pressed closed together in a new, but somehow familiar way they both knew.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I really love and appreciate them! And thank you to those who have followed and favorite this story, as well. Right now, I have the worst cold ever, so between that and the cold meds, adding coherent sentences while editing this has been a challenge, but I think it turned out the way I wanted it to, and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you all for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Once Upon A Time**_**.**

**Chapter 3: Understanding You**

When Regina left her house, there had only been a fine mist clouding the air and dampening her hair. She hadn't even really registered the water settling on her, until she finally ended up at the place she had rushed to in her emotionally suffocating state. Now that she stood on the beach, however, the drops of rain were thicker and had become more of a steady drizzle. The gray water in front of her was churning roughly for the bay, and the waves were rushing in forcefully, causing foam to collect on the sand they spilled onto, before being pulled back quickly.

A part of her sought Emma out, hoping to see any sign of wavy golden hair or a leather jacket, but she was nowhere to be found. Regina wasn't even sure why she was searching for her. She hadn't seen her in almost a week; since the night they had walked from the beach back to their cars, after spending another hour lying on Regina's blanket. And now, there was no reason for Emma to come to the beach again, especially, not on a rainy day. The blonde was probably at the sheriff's station or sitting at Granny's with her fingers curled around a mug of hot chocolate, but oh, how she wished she was here; needed her to be here.

Hot tears burned her eyes and cheeks now that she was finally alone and sheltered by the privacy of the beach with no possible onlookers from car windows, houses, or shops. The warm salty water tumbled over dark lashes, slipping down her flushed face, mingling with the cold water from the mourning sky. She hugged herself, as the dark emotions rippled within her.

The rain was starting to fall harder and the brunette felt the gray pants she had left the house in clinging to her, as they became weighed down by the water. She didn't really care though, and barely registered it. Just like she wasn't thinking about how sheer and tight the white button down blouse she desperately escaped from the house in, was becoming. The camisole she wore underneath was also losing its effectiveness in hiding what was supposed to be hidden. None of that mattered, though. Not when she clutched at her chest, allowing herself to break and give in to the sobs that wracked her body. Not when it felt like her heart was being ripped apart again, and she was losing everything.

"Regina?" Emma's familiar voice said tentatively, causing the dark haired woman to freeze. Regina thought she was hearing things, but the voice spoke again. "What happened?"

A few seconds passed, before Regina turned around, revealing the sad, broken woman she was in that moment. The brunette half expected the blonde's eyes to widen and for her to leave, but Emma remained only a few feet away. There was no shock or pity in the other woman's eyes, only patience, while she searched and waited for some clue as to what Regina wanted or needed her to do.

"What are you doing here?" Regina wiped at her cheeks, then, took a deep breath trying to calm herself.

"Wish I could say I'm psychic," Emma joked trying to lighten things a little, and was glad to see the hint of a smirk creep over Regina's lips, before she explained the reason for her presence. "I went to bring Henry some homework he forgot at home and was sitting in my car. I saw you walking toward the path to come down here. You looked like you wanted to be alone, but it was starting to rain really hard and you didn't come back up to the road, so I came to make sure you were okay."

"You're right, I did want to be alone," Regina said a bit too distantly and Emma's face fell.

The blonde took a step back, ready to walk up the beach, "Sorry, I'll just-"

"No, Emma, wait. I meant, I did want to be alone…until I actually got here," The words that the rain was trying to muffle, stopped Emma and had her looking back to Regina. "I suppose I've gotten used to you being here to interrupt my alone time."

"You wanted me to show up," Emma sounded mystified, but saw the watery glare Regina gave her and didn't comment on it further. She held the umbrella she clutched tighter and hugged her free arm across her stomach, pressing it against the zipped up red leather that covered her. "You still haven't told me why you're upset and standing out here in the pouring rain."

There was a conflicted look wrinkled into Regina's features, while she debated what should be revealed to the other woman. "I—the house was becoming claustrophobic. I needed air…space."

Emma looked her over, eyeing Regina's drenched hair that appeared black, the soaked clothes that stuck to her, and her face, which was a mix of rain and tears. "You should have at least grabbed an umbrella."

She moved closer to Regina holding the black umbrella in her hand over the two of them. The red in Regina's eyes and the salty stains on her cheeks that the rain hadn't completely washed away had her reaching out to cup Regina's cheek. "Breathe," she soothed the best she could.

The brunette closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath before releasing it and meeting the green eyes again. "Better?"

She nodded against the comfort of the blonde's hand.

"It just got to be too much," Regina's distraught gaze fell to Emma's hand that was clasping the umbrella handle. "The house is so big and now that it's empty it's just—I feel like it's swallowing me. I expect to trip over Henry's shoes or hear the tv, or even for you to obnoxiously pound on the door to have me let you in, but it never happens and it's so quiet. I know I deserve it and have no right to let it get to me, but then, I saw Henry this morning."

Emma could easily read the pain in the brown eyes and noticed the way Regina brought the inside of her cheek slightly between her teeth, trying not to lose control over her emotions. She wanted to ask if Henry had acknowledged her, since she could tell he'd seen Regina by the disappointment in her eyes. Instead of interrupting, though, she waited for the other woman to continue.

"I was getting out of my car and he rode his bike past me. He barely even slowed down. He glared at me and shook his head, then, kept going," The steadying breath Regina took, came out in a shaky exhale, not having helped to suppress the torment she was feeling. "I thought being ignored and feeling unwanted by the people who were supposed to care about you was the worst, but witnessing that silent anger and disappointment from someone who's your family because they feel you failed them, that's unbearable."

Tears had come back into Regina's eyes and Emma wrapped her free arm around her and pulled the woman, who was all too fragile in that moment, into her. Regina stiffened at first, still unused to the comfort and affection, until the familiarity of Emma engulfed her. She gripped fiercely onto the blonde, accepting that she needed the comfort their contact provided. Her head fell against the smooth leather of Emma's jacket and Regina broke again; not wanting to at first, but the emotions poured out through her eyes and her sobs, no matter how much she willed herself to stifle them.

She thought Emma would become tense at the way she clung to her, that it would be too raw and awkward for the woman who was always hiding behind her own walls, but she was wrong. The arm that held onto her, only tightened around her, and Emma's hand moved up and down the soaked shirt on Regina's back. She didn't say anything, but rested her head on Regina's and the brunette felt the way her lips brushed against her hair. They stood like that for a while, the rain continuing to shower over them.

"He's going to talk to Archie tomorrow," Emma softly interrupted their silence, once Regina had become still against her. "It was that or talk to me."

Henry's adoptive mother lifted her head from where it was resting somewhere between Emma's shoulder and her chest. "He wouldn't talk to you?"

"Not about you. He said I was biased."

"Biased?"

"Well, he obviously knows I want him to forgive you. He doesn't get why I don't see how Neal's death was your fault. I tried again to tell him why it wasn't," Emma assured at the sadness in the eyes that stared at her. "Then, I mentioned how he's lucky you even saved us. But he got really upset when I brought that up and slammed the door. So, I shouted from the other side that I was making him an appointment with Archie."

"So now he's mad at you too?" The question came out almost accusingly.

Emma shook her head. "From the way he's been acting I don't think he's actually mad at either of us."

Regina scoffed, stepping far enough away from the other woman, so there was enough space between them, while making sure she was still covered by the umbrella. "You're not serious?"

"I am. I think he's mad at Neal. He feels he left him…again, which means he's obviously mad he lost his father, but he can't be mad at his dad who just died. And he knows he almost lost his moms too, but he doesn't know who to be upset with about that. When he slammed the door, I could tell it was for bringing up that we almost died. There's no way that didn't scare him and make him realize how easy it could be to lose us," The lines on Regina's forehead wrinkled, as she digested the words that had her throat tightening. The water that had collected, but not fallen in the green eyes that were staring at her, made it difficult to ignore the tears that were trying, once more, to fill her own. "The other night he wouldn't let me leave the room even after we finished reading a chapter of a book. I don't think that's ever happened before?"

With a small shake of her head, Regina confirmed what Emma had assumed. "He doesn't like to fall asleep in the middle of a chapter," She recalled, as a fond smile that couldn't be kept from appearing on her face at the thought of her son, had her lips curving upward.

"Well, I kept reading until I heard him snoring a few pages into chapter five. It's like he doesn't want me to leave or know when I do. I'd say that's kind of weird when he doesn't seem too happy with me lately, but it makes sense: angry by day, clingy at night."

"So, he's angry at both of us because we almost died?"

"You lost someone unfairly. How did you react?" Emma questioned gently, but with a pointed look at Regina, who sighed in understanding. "He almost lost his moms and he did lose the dad, who just came into his life. I can't blame Henry for taking it out on us. Sometimes you take these things out on the people you know won't turn away from you," It was said with understanding, leaving Regina to question Emma with her eyes. "I just get what he's going through. I've been picking fights with Mary Margaret and David for weeks. It got to the point where I had to ask myself why, after talking with you last week."

"And you came up with an answer?"

"Yeah, I did. I mean, part of it has been that I'm annoyed with them because of Henry. I hate that they haven't been helpful with him and are too distracted with everything else, but it didn't explain why I was _that _mad," There was a pause, while Emma shifted from the intense look in Regina's eyes, which studied her as she explained the situation, out toward the horizon that was concealed by the fog rolling in. "Guess Henry is definitely my son. We react to these things in kind of the same way, except I couldn't be mad at him or you, because you saved me, so I was taking out my anger on my parents."

Regina calculated what she saw in Emma and what she had said. "You're angry about Neal too?"

The question had them facing each other again, Emma obviously trying to come up with the right words, as she bit her lip. "He was the first person I was in love with, my kid's dad. It shouldn't have happened this way and it hurts. He died and I have magic, so I could have saved him. But we weren't near him and I was busy having your back, while you had mine."

"So, you blame me too," Regina concluded in a tone that was somewhere between miffed and sad.

The look on Emma's face didn't change and remained serious, but her eyes were apologetic at the way she could tell she had hurt Regina. "For that? No. No matter how many times it happened, I would have been there fighting Tamara with you. But you almost died too. I saw that thing coming at you from her taser; that split second look in your eyes that told me you thought you were going to die."

"But you saved me," Regina interrupted taking a step closer to Emma, forgetting how the blonde had offended her a few moments ago, after seeing the honest fear and agony cross her face.

"It doesn't mean I've forgotten that look or the panic I felt. And it doesn't mean I haven't relived those five seconds every day," The words that were clearly painful to say, were just as painful to hear. Not only did they remind Regina of losses she herself had felt, but they reminded her of what she could have lost that day. The broken way Emma was looking at her made her heart ache in a way she never thought it had before. "I almost lost you."

"You would have missed me that much?" Regina's question was quiet, but carried a weight that told Emma she surprisingly needed the answer.

"You really have to ask that? After these last few weeks, you can't tell…I mean, who would keep teaching me how to be a good mom for Henry, or how to keep controlling my magic if any more psychos come to Storybrooke?" It was meant to be a way to make her point sincere and light at the same time, yet Emma could see that as genuinely appreciative as Regina was to hear of her helpfulness and the ways she benefitted from the older woman's wisdom, there was something more that she needed to hear.

"I was _this _close to throwing a punch at David the other night when all he said was that I needed to consider why Henry is angry with you, instead of only being influenced by what I feel about you. If Mary Margaret hadn't stopped my hand from flying into his face, he would have definitely lost that Prince Charming thing that's supposed to make the girls swoon or whatever, for at least a month. She made him leave and sat me down. I think she's probably known for a while, at least since the insanity of that day, what I was feeling better than I did. Of course, she was probably afraid to overstep and that I'd bite her head off, but she said she wanted me to figure it out by myself and understand what I was feeling."

Regina held up her hand, stopping Emma. "I'm trying to follow, but your rambling makes that extremely difficult."

"Sorry." There was a frown on Emma's face, whose cheeks had become lightly shaded with pink. "You know I suck at talking like this."

"Mmm…one of your lesser qualities, but one I can identify with."

"My point is, Mary Margaret was right when she sat me down two days ago and pretty much told me I needed to stop taking out my feelings on her and David. She made me an appointment with Archie that I went to yesterday. And then, she told me to go see you after I talked to him because she, and I quote, _has suffered enough because of you_."

"Because of me?" Regina's eyes widened and her nostrils flared a bit at the thought of being blamed for something, when she hadn't even tried to pull anything lately. "I haven't done anything to her recently."

"Except almost die on me…and Henry. Then, throw in the sadness and anger he and I were feeling because Neal died." Regina continued to look puzzled and annoyed, as to how that was her fault, which had Emma moving even closer to her, stopping when there was less than a few inches between them. "I couldn't take any of that out on you. You were already hurt because of Henry, and I've been trying so hard _not _to hurt you and ruin whatever this thing is that's started forming between us, so that left them. They're my parents. I could scream and throw a punch and they still would have been there when I broke down or finally needed to talk. I was taking out whatever you were causing me to feel on them because you and Henry needed me to be strong."

"So you're angry with me because I almost died? I saved you, saw that _same_ look on your face as you saw on mine at some point, and you feel you can be angry with _me_?" There was no mistaking the challenging fury in Regina's eyes, but Emma saw the confusion and hurt within them too, even as the brunette tried to stand tall with her hands sitting on her hips, elbows pointing outward.

"No."

The brown eyes moved in a circle around their white beds, showing Regina's growing aggravation. "No? Then, I'm completely confused because that's what you just said."

Emma sighed loudly, realizing she deserved the way Regina was speaking to her. She wasn't really surprised Regina was having trouble following what she was trying to say because Emma was doing a poorly worded job of beating around the bush. This was one of those times where blunt honesty was needed, but she wasn't sure how Regina would take it. Her hands rose to Regina's upper arms, holding them firmly, before her grip loosened and she tenderly moved her palms up and down the wet sleeves. She stared into the chocolate eyes that questioned her and trusted her at the same time. "I'm angry because for five seconds I felt what it would have been like if I lost you! I'm angry at the way I still haven't been able to talk to you about that because of the walls I built when Neal broke me! I hate myself and I'm angry at me because I've been pushing Henry to get over almost losing us, when I was acting the same way he is for pretty much the same reasons. I'm not angry at you Regina. I don't hate you…or my parents, or Henry. But I'm angry and frustrated with myself for being unable to get those horrible five seconds out of my mind, because they keep reminding me of that sick feeling I had, and it makes me build the damn walls even higher and I want to run. And I hate myself for that! And I hate that I hate Neal for giving me a reason to build those walls in the first place because I shouldn't hate the first person I fell in love with, who Henry wouldn't be here without, and who is no longer alive!" Emma pulled one of her hands back from Regina to swipe at some tears that had run down her cheeks, steadying herself for what else she needed to say. If she hadn't regained strength from that, though, the comforting hand that Regina covered hers with, brought back her determination to get out what had to be said.

"I hate that the last time I saw you, I asked you to stay, held you, and let you hold me, but couldn't bring myself to do anything more than that," Emma's eyes held Regina's with the truth that flowed from them. It was a powerful, hopeful gaze that said more about her feelings than words ever could, and it crashed and mingled with the look of uncertainty, apprehension, and hope that came from Regina. "I went to see Archie and told him everything, because hating myself and wanting to hate people who I should just forgive, would have destroyed me. I would have left and abandoned people that I _really _don't want to abandon…ever. I spent almost all day at his office," The thought had Emma chuckle lightly through her tears and sniffles. "Good thing he's patient and likes what he does because I swear I couldn't have listened to me for that long."

"And he helped you? I mean he-"

Emma finally smiled. "Let's just say I feel a lot better than I have in weeks. Actually, I was planning on stopping by your house after work to talk, but it looks like I don't have to," She hesitantly took the free hand resting against Regina's side in her empty one. "Oh, and Mary Margaret apologized. She said how she knew I'd been talking to you, especially after I confronted her about the mayor thing. It wasn't that she didn't want to help me with Henry, she just figured that his moms could figure it out together. Plus, I know she felt bad about us practically keeping him from you when we got back from the Enchanted Forest, and didn't want to overstep anymore. So, that's what has been going through her mind," Regina nodded in understanding, feeling genuinely grateful to Emma's mother, only wishing that they had spoken sooner. "Anyway, I'm planning on a few more sessions with Archie, even though I've worked through most of the anger and everything."

A soft smile that Regina seemed to want to keep from showing a little longer peeked through. "Which means?"

"If our son really is that much like me, I'd be expecting a huge apology and a hug that you both seriously need from each other within the next week," The blonde retracted the hand that had remained covered by Regina's on the other woman's arm, after giving it a gentle squeeze.

"As grateful as I am to hear that, I was asking what it means for you," Regina smirked.

"It means I'm not running, and you and everyone else won't be getting rid of me anytime soon."

"I see," Regina said almost sounding disappointed.

"Oh, and it means unlike the other night when all I wanted—"Emma's voice trailed off and she seemed nervous and unsure.

"What did you want?"

Green eyes darkened ever so slightly, but Emma laughed lightly. "Honestly? I thought the day with the bikini would have given you that answer."

"Maybe I need to actually hear it," It was said lowly and brought a trace of vulnerability to Regina's, otherwise, teasing expression.

"You need to hear that I want you? I thought people just gave you that look when they knelt before you and it was enough," Emma tossed back playfully.

"You're not kneeling. Of course, you did say you wouldn't…"

"I'm not them." Emma stated simply.

"No, you're not."

"So, I'm not kneeling or bowing or any of that," There was a small laugh at the end of Emma's words, but her face was still serious. "I want you, but not just for a few rounds of sex, where you don't want me afterward."

Regina surprisingly blushed at the forwardness. "I don't just want you, Regina. Sure, you're hot. I'd either be blind or lying if I said I didn't see that the first time I met you, when I brought henry back to you. But after almost losing you? All I've needed since that day was to kiss you. To prove to myself you weren't dead or leaving me. And to prove to you that you're loved and your life is worth something to someone else. I've been abandoned by too many people and have felt so alone at times, that to not be able to show you that was killing me."

Regina's small hand reached up to cup Emma's cheek, her eyes staring at the blonde with gratitude and affection. "You shouldn't have hated yourself so much. Your eyes don't have walls to hide them, you know. You told me you wanted me to stay, to hold me…that was enough. You're forgetting that I've been abandoned too, and have lost so much. I have just as many walls. I'm no stranger to that place you were in."

Neither spoke for a minute. Instead, they shared a look of deep understanding.

"But I would like you to show me some time. I almost lost you too and need that same proof," Regina admitted, brushing her thumb over Emma's cheek before her hand slipped away. "And I promise, because you seem to need to hear it, that we would never be some empty one night stand. How could we be? Not only do we share a son, but the way we banter…I still don't know how I've never…"

"Shoved me against a wall and taken me right there? Yeah, I'll never know either. For someone who's always so confident and I know hasn't been very modest, you're surprisingly shy about this."

"Like I said, you are more than a one night stand. You matter. To be honest, it scares me. No one has mattered to me in this way in a long time."

"I know the feeling," Emma exhaled. "Guess we can stop this, or be afraid together?"

Regina raised an eyebrow. "You said you weren't running."

"I'm not. Are you?"

"No, but you still haven't shown me why I shouldn't. Probably because you talk too much."

"Maybe I wanted you to understand first, and to know how you felt, before I did something stupid. Plus, you had all this time to shut me up if you really wanted to," Emma teased back.

A light laugh came from Regina, and she moved so she was barely an inch from the other woman. "I think there's only one way I could have shut you up this entire time, but then I'd be taking control."

"Don't you always?" Emma asked knowingly, her eyes shifting between them, communicating how their close proximity had been caused by Regina.

"What's the point when you always do something to interfere?"

Emma's hands found Regina's hips and pulled her closer. "I think you like it."

Regina rolled her eyes, trying to keep her face stoic, as she became aware of how she was pressed to Emma. "You think too highly of yourself."

"So you don't want me to kiss you right now?" Emma wondered with an arched eyebrow.

"If making the comment that you talk too much wasn't enough of a hint, then, no, because you don't really deserve it."

"Glad I picked up on the hint then, because I'm getting tired of talking."

It didn't take long for Emma to lean in, closing her eyes along the way, and giving Regina the cue to do the same. Her warmer lips captured Regina's gently, meeting the cool moisture from the rain water that still lingered there. The sweetness of it, mixed with Regina's lips, and the hint of saltiness from the tears was intoxicating, and Emma sucked her lightly, taking in the taste. Regina moaned, responding eagerly to return the kiss. Their lips began to move against each other's; searching, tasting, capturing and uncapturing, until Emma moved her head back, so they could catch their breath. She kept her forehead resting against Regina's.

"Still not running?" The question was low and breathy.

"No. You?"

"No, and I'm glad you're not because I don't think I could ever get enough of that…of you," Emma told her, dipping her head in for more.

Her hands moved through Regina's drenched hair, then, moved to hold her face, angling it, so she could run her tongue against Regina's lip. The other woman took control of the kiss then, nipping at Emma's lip, before running her tongue over it, and pressing into her again. As their mouths moved with one another, Emma's hands ran down Regina's neck, finding the collar of the soaked button down shirt. Her palms laid against the exposed skin under Regina's collarbone, until she slid each one beneath the flaps of the shirt, toward a shoulder, her hands enjoying the heat of Regina's skin, while the brunette shivered from the Emma's cool touch.

Regina pulled her head back a little, and Emma opened her eyes, meeting Regina's.

"Too soon?" Emma's voice was casual, but she was worried she'd gone too far.

Regina shook her head. "No, it's not that. It's just cold out here."

"You doubt my abilities to warm you up?"

Regina rolled her eyes. "You don't know how much I want to say yes and wipe that smirk off your face. But no, I don't doubt those abilities. I do, however, doubt your abilities to dry my clothes."

"I have ways of solving that problem," The hands inside Regina's shirt moved further over her shoulders causing the first button that was holding the shirt together to pop. The lace of Regina's camisole became visible as Emma's eyes fell to the newly exposed flesh she had revealed. Regina shivered again from Emma's hungry gaze, the chill of the air on her skin, and her damp clothes.

"On second thought, you catching pneumonia would not be good," Emma took her hands from underneath Regina's shirt and shimmied out of her own jacket.

"Here, take off your shirt and put this on."

Regina wanted to reply with a sharp retort, or call Emma out on the way she had just commanded a former queen, but she was too cold, and instead, went to undo the buttons slowly, feeling Emma's eyes taking in every move she made. She felt the blush that tingled in her cheeks and hoped the blonde was too busy staring at her fingers to notice.

"Sorry, I can turn around if you want," Emma looked a little embarrassed and Regina guessed she had seen the subtle tremble of her fingers as they undid the second button from the top.

Regina shook her head quickly, "No, no it doesn't matter. I'm having trouble—my fingers are freezing."

She hurried to explain, feeling incompetent and shy.

"I could…if you don't mind," Emma stuttered, suddenly nervous now that they weren't caught up in the heat of the moment.

"Thank you," Regina nodded, taking Emma's jacket into her hand, as the blonde moved her hands to the next button on Regina's shirt, her knuckles rubbing against Regina's stomach. She took the loose parts of the wet garment and pulled it up, wriggling it out of Regina's pants, as it fought her, sticking against the other woman.

Once she had gotten it free, Emma undid the second to last button, her hands resting against the waistband of the gray slacks. Instead of lifting the shirt away from the woman, to have easier access to the next button, she allowed her hands to slide down against Regina's abdomen, causing a sharp intake of breath that Emma had no difficulty hearing, before her fingers stopped on the final button and she took a step closer, so that their bodies were as close as they could be without being pressed together.

Regina searched Emma's eyes, until their lips met again in a deep kiss.

Emma undid the last one and helped Regina out of the shirt that clung to her arms and made it a struggle to get free of it. Then, Emma helped her slip the jacket on, holding the umbrella over them with her free hand, keeping her eyes from focusing on the flesh she could make out through the camisole.

"Take me home, Emma," Regina said moving into her side, so they were both fully under the umbrella as they walked up the beach, then up the path, and to the car. Emma made sure Regina got in under the umbrella's protection, and then, went around to get in on her side. Regina's fingers brushed over the hand Emma lowered the parking brake with, before allowing the blonde to shift the car into drive.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi, all of my amazing readers! I know this update took a long time. I had this chapter written and after re-reading it a few times, I didn't think it was where I wanted this story to go. So, I re-wrote it and I'm much happier with the result. Sorry you had a long wait because of all of this, but I'm hoping it makes for a better story and enriches the fic in the long run. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and please let me know what your thoughts are.**

**About this update: It's really more a part one of two. The next chapter will be similar to this, but start with Regina's POV and then will flashback to what happened after this flashback ends. Hopefully, I'll be finished with that sometime during this week. I'm also going to put a light trigger warning on this just in case. I'm not sure if it really needs it, but it does bring up in very vague detail some of Regina's darker sexual experiences in her past. With that said, there is smut in this update, so if you're not into reading that, you've been warned ;) And if you have been looking forward to this part of the story, I hope you enjoy. And yes, there will be at least one or two more sexy updates in this fic…just letting you know.(I mean, how could I not write sex on the beach, eventually?)**

**So, I think that's it for now. Just want to say thank you to everyone who's still reading and for the continued story alerts and favorites! Also, a big thanks for all of the reviews! They mean and help so much, so please take the time to write one, even if it's just one word or a smiley face. Happy reading!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Once Upon A Time**_**. **

**Chapter 4: New, Yet Familiar**

A cool morning breeze tugged gently at Emma's golden hair, while she looked out at the bay. The sun was just coming up, glittering against the surface of the moving water that it rose over. The lulling motion of the small waves flowing toward the shore hypnotized Emma, relaxing her into a state that could have easily had her slipping back to sleep. Taking in a deep breath, she reached for the silver thermos beside the blue blanket she sat on. Both items had been left for her just as they had been the past four mornings, and Emma continued to accept them gratefully.

After twisting off the lid, the sheriff filled it with the steaming coffee she poured from its container. It was lifted to her lips, the strong aroma enough to begin waking the blonde, before the liquid slid over her tongue and down her throat. A quiet sigh escaped her and her eyes closed with contentment at the almost perfect moment. The only thing missing was having Regina nestled between her legs, leaning back against her, while Emma's arm curled around the other woman's petite frame. It was a nice thought, the blonde decided, opening her eyes again to the empty beach, forcing herself to accept the fact that she was still alone.

From that first morning on, Regina never appeared and Emma had completely stopped expecting her to. Not that that meant she wasn't constantly hoping for her gut to be wrong and that Regina would surprise her. They had agreed to meet there early the morning after Emma had left the other woman's bedroom, but the sheriff had arrived to a vacant beach with only a blanket and half a thermos of coffee to ease her initial disappointment.

Anyone else would have been angry or hurt that they had been stood up, however, the blonde understood. And she could tell that Regina had left the items as a way to let Emma know she wasn't being forgotten or abandoned. The woman with a cruel and wicked past wasn't used to what she was feeling for her son's other mother, nor was she used to being felt for, and she was asking Emma for the time she needed to come to terms with all that overwhelmed her.

For some reason that insight, mixed with her own need for the solace and serenity their spot on the beach offered, caused Emma to continue to come to the secret place the last three mornings when she was unable to sleep. She didn't have any idea how Regina was aware of her new routine; maybe it was the same intuitive sense that told Emma the other woman always arrived shortly after she would leave to walk Henry to the bus stop, but the blanket was always there waiting and the stainless steel thermos filled with freshly brewed coffee always appeared by magic a few minutes later. The only difference since that first morning was that now Emma had become the one to leave the tall thermos' bottom half filled with the black liquid, so that Regina could have some too.

So many feelings tried to overcome Emma whenever she remembered what had transpired between them and how their entire relationship had been flipped on its head and changed in a way she bet neither had ever dreamed of. Arousal and need burned through her veins; happiness and hope tickled her insides; and fear and insecurity unsettled her stomach. All she wanted since the hours they spent together almost four days ago was more of Regina. There was that way Regina amazed her, the way she felt whole with her, and the way she knew Regina understood her in a way Emma wasn't sure she even understood herself.

Honestly, it scared Emma, or at least the part of her who had been abandoned and broken so many times that she closed herself off and built a fortress around her heart. Yet, that was the reason the blonde realized she kept coming back to the beach and didn't run passed the line separating Storybrooke from the world Henry had pulled her from. Regina, with her own heartbreaking, lonely past was scared of this too, and needed to process what happened. And they both needed to accept how much the parts of them that craved unconditional love were deserving of it, and should be allowed to feel and give it to someone else; and not only the son they shared. Someone who provided them with strength, understanding, and faith that they could be better than the people they had been when they were lost and alone.

This was why Emma returned each morning, needing to feel close to Regina, while taking and giving the space that was offered, as they remembered to breathe and come to terms with what they both wanted. But now the blonde was starting to miss Regina. Maybe it was selfish, but something reminded Emma that there was only so long a person could deal with this alone before they began to overthink and start avoiding. It was easier, but Emma had stopped taking the easy path once Henry had gotten her to stick around Storybrooke, and she wasn't about to let them slip onto that path when she was a witness to how far they had both come. Four days was a long time, and not even Henry had provided them with an excuse to interact, because their eleven year old felt he needed one more session with Archie before he would be ready to talk to his adoptive mother. So it looked like this time Emma was going to have to force the situation and create her own excuse.

Finishing the last mouthful of coffee, she screwed the lid back on the thermos and twisted the bottom into the sand, so it would stay. But instead of just neatening the blanket like she had been doing, Emma lifted it and shook the sand off. Then, she folded it quickly to make it easier to carry and gathered it in her arms, taking it up the beach with her, and back to the loft where Henry was waiting for her. If Regina wanted her blanket back, she would have to come get it or wait for the blonde to drop it off, because they needed to talk. Because after so many days with no real contact, especially given all that had happened the last time they were together, they needed each other.

_Four days earlier…_

_The distance from where Emma parked her cruiser in Regina's driveway to the door of the white mansion seemed intimidatingly far as the rain continued to pour down, ticking hard against the metal body of the sheriff's car. _

_"Do we stay here and see if it lets up a little, or make a run for it?" Emma glanced over at Regina noticing a vulnerability in her eyes, as she stared at the house. A thick tension settled between them when Emma became aware of that same feeling of vulnerability in herself, and how it was caused by the weight of what going inside would most likely lead to. Neither said anything for a minute, only continuing to stare at the white door that led to the safe haven they longed for and were uneasy about at the same time._

_Appropriately, the former queen was the first to clear her throat. "We could run for it. It's not fair that I'm drenched and you're not," Regina smiled coyly her fingers dancing over Emma's thigh in a feather-light touch that had Emma breathing heavier. Suddenly, the motion stopped and Regina gave Emma's flesh a small squeeze over her jeans, which had her breath catching in her throat. "Or we could stay here, until it stops raining. There's enough room over here for the two of us," Regina sent her a suggestive smirk, but even as the forced confidence filled the husky voice and brown eyes, Emma could see the uncertainty it tried to cover. _

_Emma's lips turned into a serious, knowing smile that was barely there, and she placed her hand over the one Regina still covered her thigh with. "We don't have to do this. You know I want you, but I'll still want you tomorrow and the day after that. We've both been through enough crap as far as relationships go, that rushing this-"_

_Her words were cut off by Regina's lips capturing hers over the armrest. They stayed together for a moment, the kiss lingering, until Regina moved back to meet her green eyes._

_"That is why I want this. Now." Regina said surely, turning her palm over to hold Emma's hand. Then in a small voice she added, "I know you'll still want me after. And not just for sex."_

_Emma lifted her free hand to caress Regina's cheek as it moved to weave into the thick, damp layers of her dark hair. "If it was just about that, I would have done something about it way before the curse broke."_

_"I'm sure," Regina's lips curved into another smirk that Emma found her own lips moving toward and tasting eagerly. "All of that hate and anger would have been explosive," Regina commented lowly when they pulled apart, breathing heavily from their kiss. _

_Unable to keep the grin from breaking out across her face, Emma leaned into Regina's ear, her lips brushing against it as she spoke, "Maybe, but I still wouldn't expect any less from us now."_

_Regina's laugh was mixed with a shiver from the heat of Emma's breath against her ear and neck. "Probably true, but don't set your expectations too high. I wouldn't want you to be disappointed." _

_Gold hair tickled Regina's cheek as Emma pulled her head away, catching the brown eyes that had become serious, even with the teasing glint that could still be seen in the lighter specks of her chocolate irises. "Disappointed? You wouldn't be able to disappoint me even if all we did was lie on your bed and spoon for a couple of hours."_

_Emma saw the gratefulness shine through Regina's eyes, even as a small chuckle erupted from her throat. _

_"You have much lower expectations than I thought."_

_"Shut up," Emma tossed Regina's hand playfully back to her lap, before she reached down to the floor by her feet to find where she had dropped the dripping umbrella, after they'd gotten into the car. "Looks like it's not pouring as hard. I'll come around to your side," The blonde offered, opening her door, and then, the umbrella. "I don't want my jacket to get wet."_

_"I see where your true affections lie."_

_"Hey, that jacket and I have been through a lot together!" Emma was only half joking and Regina wasn't surprised to hear the honest defensiveness in her voice. Strangely, it only made her feel even more warmly toward the other woman._

_She waited until Emma opened the door on the passenger's side to smile wickedly at her. "What?" The green eyes stared at her suspiciously._

_"Oh, nothing really. I'm just surprised."_

_"About?"_

_"Well, having that kind of attachment to your jacket, and yet you don't seem to feel any jealousy toward it. After all, it is wrapped around me and you're not."_

_"Mmm," Emma hummed as Regina climbed out of the car and stood under the umbrella with her. "Maybe I'm just proud that you're wearing my jacket, so I can't be jealous of it."_

_A noticeable chill shook Regina and Emma instinctually brought her arm around her. "You should get inside and out of your wet clothes."_

_Brown eyes darkened at the suggestion. "I couldn't agree more."_

_They hurried to reach the small portico, Emma relieved that for once Regina had had the sense not to leave her house in heels. The brunette quickly unlocked the door and entered the house, stepping into the slightly warmer foyer. She hugged the jacket tighter around her as she waited for Emma to close the umbrella and shake some of the water off, placing it in the umbrella stand as she followed Regina inside. _

_Not unusual for Emma, the blonde turned around and locked the door behind her, acting as if she was the one who lived in the giant house and was right at home. Regina smiled to herself, shaking her head in amusement at the way some things would always remain the same. Then, she felt the butterflies fluttering around her stomach at the realization that something else, however, was about to change. _

_The blonde approached her, taking the two paces over to Regina at the bottom of the steps that led further into the house. She stopped in front of the brunette, who forced herself to stay in place instead of turning to climb the stairs. Emma reached between them confidently, surprising Regina with the sure movement. Her hands settled on Regina's crossed forearms and peeled them away from the jacket, straightening them until each arm hung at one of her sides and their hands held each other. _

_After taking a step closer, Emma dipped her head to kiss Regina softly. The kiss was short, sweet, and assuring. Regina returned it knowing that as confident as Emma was trying to be, the broken woman who had been hurt and abandoned, and who had also built walls around her heart, still existed somewhere inside of her. _

_Regina smiled and released one of Emma's hands, before turning and tugging on the other, so the blonde would follow her up the wooden steps and over to the steeper, curved staircase._

_"You should probably take off your boots down here."_

_It wasn't an order, but Emma knew Regina well enough to understand she should do as the former queen suggested, and began pulling them off, just as Regina kicked her own shoes away. _

_When Emma's empty boots were standing to the side of the stairs, toes meeting the baseboard at the bottom of the wall, Regina came to stand in front of her. Small hands with a commanding firmness gripped Emma's shoulders and turned her, pushing her lightly against the solidness of the wall. Regina's body followed, shifting with Emma's, but she stopped before she pressed herself into the other woman. They locked eyes. Then Regina's slid down to Emma's lips, before lids fell slowly over the brown eyes and Regina's face moved toward Emma's. Green eyes became hooded by their own lids and Regina's lips brushed tentatively against Emma's until they molded over hers in a searing, assertive kiss that Emma could tell became purposely seductive. The way Regina moved her lips, claiming Emma's again and again with a smooth, slick motion, had a deep moan escaping from the blonde's mouth into Regina's. _

_The plump lips sliding over Emma's sucked gently, before tugging her bottom one, as she pulled away with a cunning, yet sultry smile on her face. Emma felt her hand being pulled into Regina's and once the brunette had backed slightly away, Emma found herself being the one to lace their fingers together. The dark look in Regina's eyes and the smile on her lips had turned as seductive as her kiss, and Emma had no other thought, but to follow, as Regina walked backward, forcing them toward the staircase, before she led Emma up to the landing._

_Nothing had changed, Emma noticed, since the first time she had been up there so many months ago, when she'd offered to help find Henry. The difference this time, was that the two women walked past the closed door to their son's room and Regina stopped them in front of the door to her bedroom instead, turning to lean her back against it. There was something in Regina's face, in her eyes, that began to cloud the seduction, although the darkness of the lust she was feeling was still present. But this other warm expression, half-filled with a self-consciousness that Emma knew was supposed to be hidden and half-filled with a trust Emma had never seen anyone else look to her with before, had the blonde's stomach flipping and her heart aching to be with the woman standing in front of her. The emotions that she was wearing in that moment were of a woman staring back at the person she was about to give everything to, and not in a casual way, but a meaningful one that had the potential to blow up in her face and break her heart, but trusting that not to happen; trusting the person before her not to let that happen. This side of Regina was different and new to Emma, and it made her wonder if it was new to Regina too. _

_Regina's eyes followed Emma's hands as they grasped onto the open flaps of the leather jacket. Instead of sliding it off of Regina, Emma slipped her hands inside, laying them over the silky sides of the wet camisole and feeling the heat from Regina's skin penetrating through the thin material. The brown eyes stared up at her almost questioningly; obviously surprised that Emma had not taken it upon herself to rip away the jacket and the little fabric that covered her. _

_"You've never done this before?" The quiet question startled Regina out of the moment and there was a hint of confusion and sadness in her eyes, but Emma didn't wait for her to answer, and continued. "We've never really done this before," This time it was a statement and they were both aware that she wasn't just talking about them never taking things to this level before in their complicated relationship, but also about neither of them ever having had sex that was more than something fun, temporary, and unattached, since they'd been hurt. "I think it's okay not to rush."_

_There was a soft smile on Emma that somehow soothed Regina in ways she didn't know she needed to be soothed. Man after man had come and gone. And she had had magic if they pushed their luck with her when she didn't want them to. All of them added to her experience, they happened after her innocence had been completely robbed a hundred times over. Many of them taking her when she didn't want gentleness; when she didn't think she deserved anything tender. They were there when she needed to force herself to feeling something. So, Emma was right: this was new. _

_Regina's hands moved to the blonde's arms, and then connected with the wrists that sat inside of the jacket which opened wider at Regina's added presence beneath it. She squeezed the wrists she held and then, moved her hands to the red leather, pushing away from the door, so she could pull the jacket from her shoulders and wait for it to slide to the floor. _

_There was no hiding the desire that burned in Emma's eyes, as the sound of the dead weight of the leather pooled on the ground and the creamy skin of Regina's shoulders came into view, only covered by a thin satin strap resting on each. The light that flowed through the windows, only reinforced how sheer Regina's shirt was, especially when it was still fairly wet, and Emma's eyes couldn't help but travel to her breasts that peaked against the material._

_"Your turn," Regina said thickly, and Emma's eyes floated back up to hers and saw the pink on Regina's cheeks that told her she had felt Emma's gaze on her. The brown eyes then drifted to the black t-shirt wrinkling against Emma's body, reminding her of the request. _

_Emma let out a small laugh. "Only fair, right?" She smiled at Regina, but instead of reaching for the hem of her shirt, she reached past the other woman to turn the knob and opened the door to the bedroom. _

_A defiant look flashed in Regina's eyes at Emma's being the one have taken control and opened the door to her room, and Emma brought her hand back to Regina's to make a point. "Your hands feel like ice, and mine are cold. It's gotta be warmer in there than out here in the hallway. Especially now that you're not wearing my jacket, anymore."_

_The brown eyes softened and she moved to the side, so Emma could step through the doorway._

_"Not as…um…dark as I pictured, but definitely your bedroom," Emma observed hearing the door click closed, as Regina came to stand behind her. _

_"Disappointed by the color?"_

_"No, actually. Surprised. But it suits you. Just didn't expect such a light tone."_

_"There's a richness to it," Regina hummed thoughtfully. "Not like my room in my castle, but I fell in love with it after I woke up that first day. It was a nice change."_

_"Nice changes are good," Emma nodded, finally turning to see the slight pain on Regina's face. "Will those thoughts go away if I take my top off," Emma half-teased, receiving a tiny smile from Regina._

_"You could try it," She stepped toward the blonde somewhat predatorily, her eyes daring the other woman to follow through._

_Soon, the black shirt was swept over Emma's head, her light hair falling back into place a bit messier than before, as the top was thrown to the floor._

_Regina's eyes moved from Emma's face to the black bra that had been hiding under her shirt. _

_"So, are the thoughts gone?" The younger woman wondered with a heavy breath, watching Regina's eyes shifting from hers, to her chest, and then, settling on her lips. _

_Before she could receive an answer, she was bracing herself against Regina's weight, her hands rising from Regina's biceps to her face, as the other woman's mouth met Emma's hungrily. There were nips soothed by tongues, hair tugged at a little too eagerly to be comfortable, and moans that echoed between their joined lips, so that neither were completely sure where the sounds originated. _

_They only sobered from their fervent kisses when Regina pressed herself too forcefully against Emma and the blonde fell back onto the bed, Regina collapsing on top of her. At first, they only melted further into their new position. Emma's hands traveled over Regina's back, as their lips continued to move together, and Regina molded her body deeper into Emma's, while certain sensitive spots tingled at the way they became crushed against her. But then Regina bent her leg between Emma's, so she was able to drift over her more, and ended up straddling her leg. The hips of the woman beneath her bucked up at the contact of Regina's pants sliding up her thigh, and she lifted the brunette's head up to look into her eyes. The sight of Regina hovering over her, her breasts tugging the neckline of her cami forward, and the way she was perched on Emma, took her breath away. It took all of Emma's will not to start kissing her again._

_"Everything, ok? Did I do something-" Regina said huskily, worry etching her face, causing Emma to shake her head roughly against the mattress. _

_"I just wanted to see you. And make sure I didn't do anything…you didn't want me to."_

_"No one's ever care-" But Emma just rose up to kiss her softly._

_"Well, I do. And in time I know we'll figure each other out, but for now, tell me what you want. Show me."_

_Regina looked at her hesitantly and then her eyes fell to Emma's hands. She sat up a little, as she took them into her own. _

_"I want to know too," Regina said suddenly. "Not just what you like, but if it's too much or doesn't feel right."_

_"Okay," Emma nodded and waited as Regina moved the hands she held, and placed them on the flesh and lace above her breasts. _

_Emma lifted her head forward to kiss the soft skin that laid flat between their palms, and then moved her mouth back to Regina's lips. It wasn't long before her hands slid over the mounds covered by the silky camisole and Emma brushed her thumbs over the nipples peeking through. Regina's moan vibrated through both of them, and Emma's hands continued moving, groping, and relishing in the feel of the supple swells beneath the thin fabric, wanting Regina to continue to enjoy the feel of her hands on them too, before she needed more and her hands tugged the garment out of Regina's pants and over her head._

_This time Regina bent her head to pull Emma's lips to hers and show her the comfortableness she felt with her. Emma allowed herself to take in the kiss, even as she moaned at the feel of Regina's bare breasts lightly grazing over the skin above her own bra. It didn't take the blonde long to roll them over, so that she straddled Regina, and left her lips to take one of Regina's nipples into her mouth, her tongue swirling over it, as it rose in response. She glanced up to see Regina's hooded eyes rolling back as she made a noise in appreciation. _

_Then, Emma moved to the other breast, doing the same before licking a trail between them, the saltiness of Regina's skin mixing with the sweetness of her kisses, and Emma was sure she could never get enough. She felt goose bumps under the hands that trailed over Regina's sides, as she placed wet kisses over her stomach, working her way down to Regina's waist where she pressed her lips right above the waist of her gray slacks. Regina grabbed a fistful of the duvet, wriggling under Emma at the arousing sensation, before she moved back up and placed a few kisses along Regina's jaw._

_"You're beautiful," Emma sighed, her eyes briefly connecting with Regina's before she moved to suck at her collar bone, which elicited another moan from Regina and caused more goose bumps._

_Regina's hands slid into the blonde waves that fell over Emma's shoulders and onto her. Then they wandered down to the clasp of the black bra and toyed with it, her slender fingers slipping underneath the elastic and pinching it, before she completely unhooked it and pulled the straps down Emma's shoulders. This got the blonde's attention and she looked up with a small smirk that mirrored the lazy one Regina sent her._

_"I was waiting to see how long it was going to take you."_

_Regina's response was to slip the bra off the rest of the way and toss it somewhere on the floor, before her hands cupped Emma's newly exposed flesh. A sigh came from Emma at the feel of Regina's hands on her, and she allowed herself to revel in the satisfying touches that Regina soon added her lips to, before her tongue came out to lick and glide around the tips of her breasts. This time it was Emma who bunched up the duvet in her fists, fighting back the groan that rose in her throat. Her head fell onto Regina's shoulder, as she came forward more to give Regina better access. But after a few more than pleasurable ministrations by Regina's hands and tongue, she was pushing Emma up and away from her body._

_There was frustration and confusion in the green eyes when they focused on Regina, but she only smiled at the unhappy woman above her; her eyes beseeching Emma to trust her. Without breaking the connection between brown and green, the brunette's hips rose subtly beneath the ones hanging a few inches above hers like a bridge. Her knuckles scraped against the crotch of Emma's jeans, the unexpected presence of Regina's fingers, forcing the blonde to fight back a whimper that ending up coming out as more of a grunt._

_When she broke their eye contact to glimpse at what Regina was doing, Emma's eyes widened. They watched mesmerized, as the thin fingers unbuttoned the gray pants and pulled the silver zipper down agonizingly slow, giving her a slight hint of the white lace they hid. On impulse, Emma's hands reached out and met the ones Regina had placed on the waist of her pants in order to slide them down, and covered them. At the feel of Regina's skin under hers, Emma's eyes rose back to the face staring up at her. A small nod gave Emma the permission she sought, and they worked together to bring Regina's pants over her hips and down her legs, Emma guiding them past her ankles and off her feet when the damp material became stubborn and decided not to budge. _

_There was a slight annoyance released from Emma in the action of throwing them roughly over the foot of the bed. She scowled at the clothes lying in a rumpled mess on the floor, before she returned her gaze to Regina, raking her eyes from the brown tousled hair, down her body, to the feet that sat beside Emma's knees. She put a hand over each ankle and glided them over the tops of the other woman's feet, before sliding them back up the soft skin. Her hands were warm compared to the chill of Regina and so, Emma took one foot and then the other, massaging briefly, until a pink tone returned to them. Then, she drifted her palms up to Regina's knees, placing a few kisses here and there on the smooth skin along the way. _

"_Feeling warmer?" Emma raised an eyebrow at Regina._

"_Mmhmm. Much," She replied in a throaty whisper._

"_Good."_

_Emma lifted herself onto her knees and unbuttoned her jeans, unzipping the denim and tugging them off of herself as gracefully as she could. They were discarded somewhere over the side of the bed, where her bra had been tossed. _

_It wasn't long before she was straddling Regina again, capturing the lips that smiled dangerously at her. Their mouths continued with their heated dance, lips together and tongues taunting each other, moans rippling through them. Emma's hips began to rock against Regina's, who rolled her own up to meet the warm, red material darkening at the center with the moisture, who's enticing smell was starting to mingle with her own, in the air between them. A whimper erupted from Emma's lips and she broke their kiss, rocking harder against Regina who released her own shaky cry at the feeling. _

"_I want…you…" Regina panted, her voice low and raspy. Emma found Regina's hand and kissed her palm, then placed another on her straightened fingers._

"_Together," Emma breathed and dropped her hands to the lace still sitting on Regina's hips. She pulled the garment off of her and then assisted the brunette in getting rid of her own underwear. _

_Barely a second later, the blonde guided one of Regina's hands to her center, slightly trembling with desire and nerves, until the brunette captured her lips, then poked a finger inside of Emma. The rush of the sensation made the younger woman inhale sharply, before she groaned out Regina's name. As she got a feel for Emma, the blonde met the movements of her finger zealously, and soon, another finger was being slipped in. Her hips rocked harder and harder against Regina's hand, quickly finding a rhythm that had them giving and taking in sync, before Regina cried out when a couple of Emma's fingers pushed gently, but swiftly into her. _

_There seemed to be a brief pause and a deep breath taken by Regina, until she adjusted to the feel of Emma within her, while the other woman adapted to how warm and tight her lover was. When their eyes met again, glazed and shadowy, their lids only partially open, Emma looked for any sign of discomfort and found none. _

_Her fingers began pulsing with the push and pull of Regina's hips, and her hips began to ride the fingers within her. Their movements became more deliberate and rougher, feeding intuitively off the erotic sounds and feelings of the other woman. _

_Pants of "there" escaped their lips, shouts for "more" and "harder" flew from their tongues, and eventually, thoughtless expletives were all they called out, until they faded to loud whimpers and cries, before Emma clenched around Regina, shaking above her, trying not to slow her movements inside the other woman too much, as the brunette continued to rock against her. Not long after, Regina stiffened, crying out, and quivering beneath Emma, who kissed her forehead, and collapsed comfortably beside her, wrapping her arm over Regina and tugging her against her with a kiss to her shoulder._

"_That was-" But Emma stopped thinking twice about commenting, until she met Regina's brown eyes and flushed face. There was a small smile covering her mouth that revealed how satisfied and happy she was. The tenderness, appreciation, and a similar vulnerability to the kind Emma had seen earlier, glowed in her eyes and gave the blonde the nudge she needed to voice what she was feeling. "That was We really are explosive."_

_Regina laughed and Emma found herself grinning at the sound. "I thought you had no doubts that we would be."_

"_I didn't," Emma kissed her mouth sweetly, keeping their heads close. "But honestly, somehow that was even better than my high expectations."_

_There was a glint in Regina's eyes and Emma waited for the smirk and teasing reply, but the other woman surprised her by only leaning in and bringing their lips together again. "Mine too."_

_When she pulled away, the green eyes caught something in Regina that had her arm hugging her a little tighter. "Tell me?"_

_The prompt toward Regina was vague, but her eyes didn't question Emma, knowing exactly what she was asking for. A few seconds went by, before the brunette met her eyes again, conflicted with what she wanted to say. She understood Emma wasn't forcing her to talk to her, but she wanted to, it just wasn't easy._

"_I almost wish I could erase the others…" It was said quietly, after Regina let go of the breath she was holding. "The past. This is all that I wanted from the beginning. Not the arranged marriage, or the crown, or the curse."_

_Emma felt the hot bead of water that escaped from Regina's eye hit her own arm, where it trickled down leaving a wet, salty trail on pale skin, until it dripped onto the bed. "I know," She soothed against Regina. "Really. I do."_

"_You do," The former queen echoed, having felt so exposed by the truth, but never doubting that Emma would understand in some way._

"_If erasing my past didn't mean erasing Henry's existence, I'd be saying the same thing. But having to get through all of that crap and the stupid one night stands…I'm just glad you're what I found at the end of all of it."_

_This time it was Regina who clutched onto Emma tighter, and ran her foot over Emma's leg in a caress meant to show the depths of her feelings. "I don't know if I deserve this…you, but I'm glad you're here. I'm thankful."_

_Emma looked up into Regina's eyes. Whatever merciless evil that had corrupted her and driven her vengeance was no longer there, and all that stared back at her was a woman who wanted to be better; to be wanted and loved. Like everyone else, the woman Emma held in her arms only wanted some of the happiness that life always seemed to give so willingly to others. And perhaps better than anyone, Emma understood that, because it was what she always wanted most too._

"_You deserve it, and I'll remind you of that every day if it ends up making you believe it," Emma's face was serious as she knitted her fingers with Regina's._

_The green eyes may have been strong in that moment, but there was no way Emma could hide her own feelings of not being good enough, that Regina could tell were lurking within her head. "I'll do the same for you," She pressed her lips to Emma's. "And much more."_

_She rolled onto Emma, straddling her, as she kissed her again. Then, Regina's mouth worked its way down the body beneath her in a warm, wet trail, taking in as much of Emma, as she could. She smiled against Emma's skin whenever she made a sound, and smirked appreciatively up at the woman, when she wound her fingers into the soft layers of Regina's hair. Not wanting to tease her too much, Regina placed a few kisses along the inside of each of Emma's thighs, until her tongue reached out to meet its target. The squeal she heard from above, and the affectionate way Emma used one hand to tug at her hair, while she used the other to brace herself against Regina's shoulder, before her nails dug into the flesh there, was enough to overwhelm her and flood Regina's heart. _

_Five hours passed. Round after round spent reveling in each other in whatever way they could; exploring, discovering, pleasing, and showing. Each time it only got better, and was more amazing and unpredictable for both of them, as they became more acquainted with each other. But the sounds, the tastes, the smells, the touches, and the feelings, as new as they were, were familiar. It wasn't really shocking to either of them. But it did give them a sense of contentment and happiness that could only be similar to revisiting somewhere you felt at home. A place you knew very well._

_The covers were pulled back, once they felt the exhaustion taking over them. It wasn't late, but the sun had already set and the moon was hanging in the sky beyond the window. The light from the white sphere, reflected off of Regina's floor-length mirror, creating shadows all around. Emma turned onto her side, facing away from the unwanted brightness, and found Regina's body under the sheets. She allowed Emma to pull her back against her, cuddling into the blonde. She placed a kiss to Emma's hand that was nestled in her own, before bringing their tangled arms to her chest._

"_Goodnight, Emma."_

"'_Night, Regina."_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks to all of you for reading and following/favoriting! Also, a very big and special thank you for all of the reviews!** **Reviewers, you are the best! I'm so happy that those of you who have stuck with this story are still enjoying it. Hope you like this chapter complete with Regina's POV and another flashback. Just a warning that, once again, Regina's darker, past sexual experiences are touched on, but not in great detail. As always, enjoy and please, let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Once Upon A Time**_**.**

**Chapter 5: Relying on Instincts**

For almost a week, rain showers passed over Storybrooke. The thick clouds seemed to pause their wet assault, only to start up again a few hours later. Today, however the peeks of blue sky escaped from the puffs of white and gray overhead, and the sun was shining, as the remaining clouds moved out to sea. Regina watched them floating above her, as they drifted toward the water that had returned to a deep blue, after being dull and choppy, even on the last few dry mornings, which, conveniently for her, happened to be the least rainy part of the days.

She hugged the charcoal gray quarter-sleeve cardigan she was wearing, over a plain black designer t-shirt, tighter around her until she was content with their protection against the cool morning air. As she walked over to the thermos tucked snuggly in the sand, Regina felt her cheeks tingle with the warmth of the sun on them, and she knew today would be one of Maine's warmer summer days.

It was only after she had poured herself the remaining coffee from the container, she and Emma had fallen into the habit of sharing the last four mornings, that she noticed something was missing. The blue blanket that she had brought with her to the beach, on the first morning when she had arrived before dawn to wait for Emma, only to realize and admit to herself that she was too overwhelmed to face her, wasn't spread out over the bare ground like it was every morning since then.

They had settled into the silent routine. Emma would come to the beach and sit on the blanket, before bringing Henry to school, drinking half of the coffee in the thermos Regina would send daily by magic (the only thing she was willing to use her powers for, at this point). Then a little while later, when she was sure Emma would be with Henry, Regina would come to their spot and sit on the blanket, finishing the rest of the coffee. It was a way to take time for themselves, thinking through everything, while feeling close to each other. And the fact that Emma continued coming to the beach, revealed that it was both of them that needed this, not only Regina.

To be honest, Regina wasn't even sure how the routine had happened so easily, especially since they'd never discussed it. But she was glad that they knew each other so well, and had an intuitive sense about what the other was thinking and feeling.

Now, however, she kicked pettily at the sand, expecting someone to be lurking behind the bushes, just to witness such an abnormally childish moment from the regularly composed woman. Regina wanted the blanket. She wanted to sit on it with her legs crossed, drinking her morning coffee, while she thought over what they had done. What Regina had no doubt they would do again, if they were alone. It was the only time of day where she allowed herself to relive that afternoon almost four days ago, and she needed this time to figure out what she wanted and could realistically have with Emma.

The thought of how sad, cold, and wet she was that day, as the rain seeped through her clothes, sent a shiver through her body. The memory of Emma rescuing her with an umbrella, warming her with touches and kisses, had another rippling up her spine and tickling her skin, leaving goose bumps under the light sweater. Then, she remembered careful fingers moving over the buttons on her soaked-through white shirt, before she helped Regina free herself from it, so she could cover herself with Emma's jacket. That, had her eyes closing, as she reveled in the intimacy.

Soon, Regina's thoughts drifted to what occurred at her house and she allowed herself to recall the kisses that they had shared on the way to her room; sweet, assuring, soft, and seductive. Her mind wandered to the clothes they had begun shedding on either side of the door. Then, she felt the memories of the warm, wet kisses their mouths were locked in, as they fell onto the bed. And they were followed by the gentle touches of affection and need, which led to more bare skin and exploration, before there was nothing left to hide under. Then, there was only vulnerability and desire, with traces of something deeper, as they worked together to show each other how they felt and to make the other feel it too. To give what they could, while receiving offers to take what they needed.

A final chill ran up Regina's back, as she stood there staring at the sand, missing the blanket when she had the need to clutch the thick material between her fingers and hold it tight, so it would ground and comfort her the way Emma would if she were there. But today was different. There was no blanket or Emma Swan for Regina to hold, as the weight of her feelings flowed over her.

Emma had been different than all of the others. Not wanting Regina to be completely dominant or submissive, but having them both work together. Later, she had stayed and held her, falling asleep next to her. Emma woke her with a kiss that told Regina she mattered and that she was so much more to the blonde savior, than she ever remembered being to those men who only needed her to satisfy their sexual cravings, just as she needed them to satisfy hers.

The other woman touched her in ways no one ever had, said things no one ever did, and showed her things others never thought her worthy of, even if she had been a queen. No, they had all treated her like she was a deserved prize or someone they'd allow to have their way with them because they got a thrill out of her domination. Never had she been treated as an equal, instead of submitting or dominating. Never had anyone really cared what felt good to her or what hurt her. They were always more concerned with what felt good for them.

Not Emma. For the first time, someone had made love to her. Even if the blonde had never uttered the four letter word, it was in the way she kissed, touched, held and allowed Regina to trust her. It was in the way she looked at Regina, and didn't want to leave her. But it was mostly in the way every part of Emma told Regina she was worthy of those touches and looks, and that she deserved to have someone she could make love with. That she could also offer the kisses, sounds, touches, and tastes that made Emma feel just as cared for, and let her know she could trust Regina just as much. It was overwhelming to her that she could experience the all-consuming rush and elation Emma made her feel, and also see it in the blonde when she caused the younger woman to experience it, too.

Yet, knowing what it was between them, but not knowing where it would lead, was what really scared Regina. As did, wanting to feel and experience all that Emma promised Regina she could. It was too much, the idea of falling in love with someone again, after so many decades of barely receiving or knowing any kind of love at all, except for maybe her father's, her son's, and the brief moment she shared with her mother, before Cora slipped away.

After Daniel, she didn't want to hurt again; to find love only to lose it as she always had. Loving Henry was a risk and she'd been willing to take it because she was lonely, and after realizing she didn't have to be the Evil Queen in this world, she knew she wanted to feel love and give it again. But that was to a child, someone innocent, who wouldn't focus on and judge her for her broken, dark heart. And yet, even he still managed to hurt her.

So, how could she trust Emma again the way she had that afternoon? How could she love and be loved by someone, after her shattering past and the things she'd done that now made her sick to her stomach when they entered her mind, whether she was awake or asleep. How could she have any of it, especially, when the woman she felt so deeply for, was the Savior? Loving the daughter of the woman she had wanted to kill for years out of vengeance, who she still could barely tolerate being in the presence of, how could she allow Snow White's daughter to convince her she still deserved love and could give it in the way she had barely ever had the chance to?

Regina felt her cheeks burn as salty water spilled onto them. The ocean blurred when she looked ahead and blinked away more tears. She felt pathetic, like a hormonal teenager making the circumstances of every relationship more complicated than they really were. This was a second chance at love and she felt it with Emma. Not Snow White's daughter, who she had once believed wanted to take everything away from her—including her son, but Emma Swan: the strong, independent, beautiful, infuriating woman, who fit perfectly nestled against her.

Emma, who was doing everything in her power to help the son they shared, get to the point where he could find it within himself to forgive Regina and allow himself to feel the love he felt for the mother who raised him again. Emma, who wanted to open everyone's eyes to the changed woman she saw in Regina and make them forget the Evil Queen. Emma, who had spoken a quiet vow to her, after they had first made love, that she'd remind Regina every day that she could be loved and was worthy of it. She was the woman who made Regina believe that broken people like them, could have the happiness they had been denied for so long. And she was that same woman who would have stayed after everything, if Regina hadn't insisted she go home to care for their son.

_Four days earlier…_

_There was a persistent humming that stirred Emma out of sleep. Something was buzzing somewhere, but she was warm and content, her face still snuggled into the crook of Regina's neck, and she didn't want to move. The brunette must have heard the noise too, because she sighed and wriggled back against Emma some more. Thin lips sleepily kissed Regina's neck, before Emma rested her head on the pillow again and buried her nose in dark hair._

_ "You still smell good," Emma murmured, her lips curling into a sleepy smile._

_ "Mmm…" Regina exhaled and Emma could hear the pleased smile in the sound she made. She turned in the blonde's arms and wrapped an arm over her body, scooting closer to her. A gentle kiss was placed beneath her neck by warm lips._

_ Just when they were almost back to sleep, a beeping came from the floor behind Emma, and an unhappy groan rose from Regina's throat. "Someone is trying to get in touch with you," Her voice was raspy and less than amused._

_ "I don't care," Emma ran a hand down Regina's arm, her eyes closed. "Just wanna be here with you."_

_ The younger woman could feel the lips turn up in a grin against her skin. "Me too," A gentle hand moved up to sit on Emma's shoulder._

_ But then, there was the buzzing again and both of them grumbled at the determined caller._

_ "It better be Henry," Emma muttered, letting go of Regina and shifting her body, so she could hang over the side of the bed. She managed to grab her phone out of the pocket of her jeans, just as her face became warm with the rush of blood to her head. When she turned back to Regina, she could just about make out the concern in her eyes that the moonlight reflected in, but there was no missing the frown on her face. "I'm sure he's fine," Emma assured; realizing her words had stirred up the worry in Henry's other mom. _

_She found alerts for two missed calls and single text. "It was my mom calling. Guess I can't blame her. I didn't exactly let anyone know I ended up at your house this afternoon."_

_ "What time is it?"_

_ "Eleven sixteen," Emma kept her eyes on the bright screen._

_ "I'm surprised your parents haven't sent out a search party in case someone's abducted the Savior," Regina gave a short, sarcastic laugh._

_ "I wouldn't say I was abducted…maybe voluntarily seduced," Emma's face was lit up by her phone's screen, as she skimmed the text that had arrived between the two missed calls. "Sounds like Henry's refusing to go to sleep, unless I'm there to read to him."_

_ Regina felt her heart clench at the image of her son laying under the blankets beside Emma, while she read to him, forcing her to continue so he would fall asleep to her voice, instead of the dark, empty room that would probably lead to nightmares of his moms dying or leaving him alone to fight whatever perilous battle his subconscious could muster. "Go," Regina whispered with an understanding smile, fighting back the knot in her throat. None of this was what she ever wanted for him._

_ Emma nodded with a sigh of resignation, but couldn't deny that she would have chosen to go to him, no matter how much she wished she didn't have to. "Hopefully, he'll be back to his old self soon," the younger woman patted her hand, not having missed the extra water that had collected in Regina's eyes. She dressed and sat down on the bed near Regina to pull her boots on, then ran her finger down Regina's flushed cheek. "If you want I could bring lunch by your office tomorrow?"_

_ "I wanted to make you breakfast," Regina confessed, taking the hand that was on her face into her own. _

"_We could meet on the beach before I have to walk Henry to the bus stop," The blonde suggested._

_ A dark eyebrow rose in disbelief. "You'll be up that early?"_

_ "Between Henry and the stuff my appointment with Archie got me thinking about, I haven't been sleeping too well. Woke up at four today, so I shouldn't have a problem."_

_ "I can understand that," The smallest knowing smile accompanied Regina's words and they felt bound together once again._

_ "The couple of hours we just slept was some of the best sleep I've had all week," The grip Regina had on her hand tightened with the admittance. Whether it was just in acknowledgment of her words or because she was letting the blonde know it was the same for her, Emma wasn't sure, though. "So, the beach around six? You bring the blanket and the coffee. I'll pick us up some muffins or something?"_

_ Regina's answer was a small nod, before she sat up next to Emma, the sheets falling away from her. She enjoyed the longing that returned to the green eyes as they roamed over her body. Then, she taunted Emma by standing up and walking across the room, heading toward the bathroom. She stopped in the doorway, catching the hungry gaze that rested on her, and her eyes had a devilish glint to them. "Sorry you'll miss the shower."_

_ Emma swallowed thickly, and Regina smirked at her. A quiet "me too" was whispered in answer with the slightest traces of a pout on the blonde's thin lips, which were rosier than usual from all of their earlier ministrations._

_ The blonde stood up on wobbly knees and cleared her throat. After finding more of her voice, she sent Regina a smirk back adding, "I know you'll miss me just as much."_

_ The older woman let out a low laugh, and her shy smile told Emma she was right: there was nothing she could come up with to deny what her lover had said._

_ It was then that Emma stepped toward her, kissing her once more, until both of them pulled away reluctantly and stared at each other for a moment. The way Emma looked at Regina, had her breath catching in her throat. It made her giddy, nervous, and aroused at the same time. Regina didn't think anyone had ever looked at her like that. Perhaps, not even Daniel. And it made her realize how much Emma truly didn't want to leave; how much she seemed to only want to hold Regina and not let go. She backed away, though, and left Regina, who didn't doubt for a second that she would be back at some point. _

_ Not even halfway down the hallway, Emma whipped her head around when she heard Regina call lowly to her. "Will this help you sleep?" _

_ Without any more of a warning, a blue satin pajama shirt was thrown to her and she managed to catch it. "I slept in that last night. I didn't want to give you one of the shirts that were rained on."_

_ Green eyes moved from Regina's benevolent, yet playful brown ones to the slippery material in her hands, and she lifted the shirt to her nose, breathing in the scent of the woman standing a few feet away. A relaxed, pleased smile crept over her lips and she looked to Regina again. "Thanks."_

_ "Get some sleep, Emma. Real sleep. After, you read to our son."_

_ "What about you?"_

_ Regina's eyes fluttered down almost embarrassedly, before she found it within herself to meet Emma's again. "You were just in my bed. I believe the pillow you used will be enough."_

_ But Emma picked up on the flicker of truth in the brown eyes, which were draped here and there by shadows. The unguarded confession was barely present before it disappeared, but there had been enough of a window to see through Regina's all-too-convincing smile. Maybe the little of herself that Emma left behind in scents and memorable touches would be enough to ease Regina to sleep's door, but the younger woman had a feeling that crossing over the threshold would not happen easily. Once Emma closed the pristine door to the large house behind her, Regina would be left alone with the thoughts of the tears she had cried over Henry earlier, their conversation on the beach, and the reminiscences of tender and rougher lovemaking. All of that could lead to hours of no sleep without much trouble. "If it's not enough, I'm just a call or text away. And less than a five minute drive if you really need me."_

_ "Your parents would really appreciate that," Regina scoffed, sarcasm woven into her words._

_ "I can handle them. Or I could always come back here too."_

_ "Thank you, but I'm sure I'll be fine," Emma could hear how reassuring she was trying to be, even though it was sounding less and less effective. _

_ "Just remember the offer's there if you need it," She reminded one more time, not wanting to press, and ultimately, annoy Regina. "See you in the morning."_

_ "Goodnight, Emma," The white door closed and Regina disappeared behind it, leaving Emma alone to continue her walk downstairs._

Regina used her hand to wipe the tears off her cheeks and sniffled. Suddenly, she wasn't in the mood for coffee anymore. Emma was obviously done with the silence and time away from each other. For all Regina knew, this was the other woman saying she was done with her too. Regina had to go to her, face her. All she wanted right now was to hold Emma and for the blonde to return the embrace. And if that made her needy, she didn't give a damn.

She poured the coffee back into the thermos and headed up the beach. The clock tower she could see as she re-emerged into the town, told her it was a little after eight thirty. Now, she just had to decide where to start searching for Emma and the blanket. Granny's? The apartment she lived in with Henry? The Sheriff's Station?

Regina didn't have to look far, though. Actually, she didn't even have to move. When she glanced from the clock to the road in front of her, there was Emma, crossing the street with a wide smirk and the blue blanket tucked in her arms.

"Four days is too long," Emma complained, as she hurried across the road toward Regina. When she got closer, her lips broke into more of a smile, letting the brunette know she wasn't really mad at her. That really, she just missed her and only wanted to deal with what they were putting off facing. "Never again."

"I agree. Never again," Regina echoed and went over to her, bringing Emma's head to hers for a quick, but deep kiss, before they broke it and just held each other.

"So, are you ready to talk?" Emma mumbled against the side of her head.

Regina pulled away, catching her eyes, before she tugged Emma back towards the beach.

Ready or not, this was too important for both of them to surrender, instead, to the fears, insecurities, and doubts that tempted them to run. They were more, and meant more to each other, than something they could simply walk away from. No matter their pasts, they were Emma and Regina, and they deserved more and mattered too much to be given up on.

**A/N: Just a quick note to say that I know Emma showed up, even though Regina was going to confront her, anyway. There will be more about why in the next chapter. Again, thanks so much for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has continued reading this and to anyone who has followed/favorite it! Also, thank you so, so much for all of the reviews! Sorry for such a long wait. Promise the next update won't take nearly as long as this one. Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think! **

**Just a warning that it's a long-ish update and Regina's past is touched on in a little more detail in this one, so there is a trigger warning. **

**Chapter 6: The Need to Know**

Regina's hand was tucked comfortably inside Emma's, keeping them physically connected in some way, as they silently made their way down the trail to the beach. Birds could be heard chirping happily above them, hiding in the peeling white birch trees and different species of prickly pine whose branches stretched toward the sun. Regina lifted her eyes to see the light streaming through the leaves and branches shading them. Even as the brightness caused her to squint, she still sensed how Emma's gaze drifted to her briefly, before falling back down to the ground. Brown eyes had tried to catch the green ones when they were studying her, but the loose waves of Emma's hair were all they met, since the other woman's eyes were already lowered and she seemed to be concentrating on watching for any rocks or roots that her feet could get caught on.

Without missing a beat, and having apparently felt Regina's eyes moving rapidly to settle on her, Emma slid her thumb over the back of Regina's hand, before it slipped back the other way and began to rub circles against the soft skin. The soothing, almost relishing motion had Regina wondering if the blonde could sense the nervous flips unsettling her stomach and was trying to comfort her, or if Emma was just as desperate to touch her, as she was to touch the blonde, after being apart for so long. Something gave Regina the feeling it was a little bit of both, once the thumb stroked the back of her hand from the bumps of her knuckles to her wrist and back again.

Swallowing any emotion that tried so hard to stick to the back of her throat, Regina forced away the silence with her quiet question. "Did you really think I wouldn't have gone looking for you and my blanket?"

Emma's eyes rose to hers and she stopped the two of them right before the small gap in the shrubbery that lead to the beach. "Well, I was hoping you'd care about one of us enough to."

There was a teasing smirk on Emma's face, but her words still hit Regina a little harder than the blonde had intended them to. "Emma, I do care-"

But the other woman interrupted her with a gentle smile and seriousness in her green eyes. "I know you do," She pulled on Regina's hand and moved in to kiss her softly. "And I knew you would come looking. For once I was smart, though, and realized you'd have to figure out where I was and that would take time. So, I came back to you instead."

"I suppose I should be thanking you, then. Saving me the trouble of running all over town."

"You've been sending me coffee every day, I'd say we're even."

A small smile flashed across Emma's face. Then, she led Regina the rest of the way onto the beach, stopping a few feet from the water tumbling in little waves against the sand. She barely noticed when the brunette pulled the blanket from the arm it was folded under. Instead, Emma was becoming distracted by the millions of different thoughts flying through her head about what she should say.

She stared out at the water, watching wave after wave move toward the shore. In the distance, seagulls swooped down to meet the cresting water, while even further out, some boats sailed lazily across the sea. The serene view in front of her, however, did little to stop Emma's mind from whirling and rattling, so she gave up on trying to find the perfect way to start the conversation about them and decided to confront the other women, allowing their talk to flow whatever way it would. "Regina-"

She turned to face her, but was met by Regina's crouched back, as she spread the blanket out, before sitting down.

"Come here," Regina instructed, her legs open enough for Emma to sit between them.

Green eyes looked to her skeptically, wanting to do what she was told, but wondering if sitting that close was a good idea if they were actually going to talk. "You know, the last time you said that you gave me the best massage I've ever had."

Regina looked up at her pointedly. "I thought you were hell-bent on talking."

"I am. Just making sure you are."  
"Afraid I can't keep my hands to myself, dear?"

"A little."

That familiar smirk Regina always gave her, which now held more amusement than the malice it once did, appeared on her face. For some reason, there was still the fluttering and burning in Emma's stomach at the curling lips, but now it resulted from her own desire and attraction, not anger and frustration.

"I can promise you, I'm not the one we'll have to worry about being distracting or purposely trying to avoid talking. "

"You're already distracting," Emma grunted and brought her arms to cross over her chest.

Regina rolled her eyes. "That's not my fault. I'm not doing it on purpose."

"Nope, you're not," Emma exhaled, her posture falling with the release. "I can tell when you are."

"Can you?" A dark eyebrow rose to challenge the cocky statement.

With a dry laugh and shake of her head, Emma turned to stare at the water again. "Don't you get that I know you? Picking up on all of those little things…it may have started out as a way to protect myself or try to get the upper hand in an argument, but now I'm glad I can read you. And probably better than anyone. So yeah, I can tell when you're trying to get my attention or you're being overly seductive."

Their eyes met again and Emma could see the vulnerability in the ones staring back at her. It was almost as if Regina had dropped her guard, hearing that there was no reason to keep it up. "It goes both ways, you know."

"Oh, I know. And that means you know I'm not going to distract you on purpose either."

Regina nodded with a hint of a smile that never really appeared. "You should come down here, then. I—I…"

An eyebrow arched into Emma's forehead, her eyes staring at Regina quizzically, but instead of waiting for the other woman to say what she was thinking, Emma lowered herself into the space Regina had designated as hers and leaned against the pleasingly familiar body, as the brunette's arms immediately wrapped around her. Slender hands slid down the light sweater covering Regina's arms and their hands came to rest over each other, against Emma's middle.

"I've missed you too," Emma finished Regina's former thought and turned her head to place a kiss on her cheek, before she nuzzled into Regina's neck and breathed her in, pink lips pressing against the spot that always seemed to make the other woman tilt her head more.

"I—I thought…no distracting…"

"Right," Emma smiled with a wicked glint in her eyes. "No distracting. For now."

Brown eyes narrowed at her, but Emma moved her head to look back out at the water, and leaned her back comfortably against Regina again, sighing in contentment, while their fingers played with one another.

"You never showed up for breakfast four days ago," Emma said quietly, and Regina could hear the thick disappointment that clung to the younger woman's words.

"No, I did," Regina objected gently. "But then I left."  
"That doesn't really count as showing up," Emma lifted a hand from Regina's to wave the statement away with a light chuckle, before it fell back to the other intertwined hands. "Why didn't you stay?"

A few strands of dark hair blew lightly against Regina's cheek, and Emma still picked up on the emotion that flitted through the brown eyes, even though she could only see the side of the other woman's face.

"I think you already know the answer."

"I don't really _know _anything. I've only been assuming things. Talk to me."

Regina turned her head, bowing it slightly to look into Emma's eyes. "And will you talk to me? Honestly."

"You're seriously doubting my sincerity after the past few weeks?" There wasn't any frustration or anger in Emma's voice, only disbelief.

The smallest bit of pink tinged Regina's cheeks, but the blonde could tell from the insecurity that she saw in her eyes, it was more out of embarrassment of the need to be reassured than feeling sheepish about doubting Emma. She ran a hand halfway up Regina's arm. "I'm not going to lie to you or keep anything from you. I promise."

Emma observed the way Regina looked at her. It wasn't hard to see the questions rushing through the other woman's brain, nor the moment she, again, accepted the trust that had been forming between them.

The desire to lean in and kiss Emma, flitted across Regina's mind and tickled her lips, but she thought better of it, knowing it was not the time. Plus, she couldn't deny it would most likely end all conversation and stop any coherent thoughts, which wouldn't solve much of anything. Or at least anything that wouldn't end in physical needs being temporarily satiated.

"I needed some kind of space," Regina finally admitted, once she'd gotten her mind away from acting on any tempting ideas. Her eyes left Emma's suddenly, not because she wanted them to, but more out of a need to keep herself speaking the truth without becoming too emotional to continue. Normally, she would have been able to keep any tears or haunting thoughts buried, yet Emma had somehow made that more and more difficult for her, lately. "I'm not used to…I've never—there's only been one other person who has ever treated me the way you do. Like I mattered to them."

"Daniel."

Regina tilted her head in a barely noticeable nod.

"But we never got the chance to-" The rest of the statement got cut off by the sinking feeling in the brunette's chest, followed by the dull ache that hadn't been there for a few weeks. Regina felt the body resting on hers shift slightly and Emma's grip tightened on her hands, as if the blonde could see the tears that had just been fought back in the brown eyes. Her chest rose with the long breath she took, until it fell again, and she continued. "As I said the other day, I wish I could erase the others. No one has ever done that before—made love to me, and I've never felt deeply and connected enough to anyone to make love to them either."

The word "love" had Emma's heartbeat quickening and her palms became sweaty, as they still mingled with Regina's hands. She wondered how difficult it had been for Regina to verbally define what they had done, because as true and accurate as the phrase was, Emma had not brought herself to label what she was feeling for the other woman. Of course, she cared for Regina more than she cared for pretty much anyone, except Henry, but love? Not that it should be surprising, since there had never been anything conventional about the two of them, but it made Emma wonder how she could have made love to someone she'd never been on a date with or kissed until that day.

But then, she became conscious of the way she was settled between Regina's legs; the warmth, connection, and comfort she felt in the arms wrapped around her, which easily reminded Emma of why it was possible. Then, that feeling of emptiness and loss that she had revisited so many times, after almost losing Regina on the ship, had her stomach rolling for the thousandth time, and even if she didn't know when she had started to fall for the other woman, she knew she had.

Emma's arms tightened against the ones snaked around her, pressing Regina's into her torso more in a kind of hug. It was out of her own gratefulness to the universe and need to hold Regina that she squeezed a little harder, but she also aimed to soothe away the regret and inadequacy she heard in what Regina had said.

"You shouldn't have had to wait this long to know what it's like," The blonde spoke quietly and brought one of Regina's hands up to her lips. A shaky breath left the woman and Emma felt the body behind her quiver, knowing Regina was battling the emotions that wanted to pour out of her. Thin lips lingered in another kiss they placed on Regina's knuckles, giving her a minute to steady her breathing. "I'm sorry that chance was taken away from you and-"

But the younger woman found herself unable to get the rest of her words out, as the truth of the experiences Regina's words alluded to really hit her. Neal may not have been her greatest lover, but he was better than the seventeen year old not-so-experienced teenager she had lost her virginity to and the other less-than-ideal hookups she had had in her teens. Not to mention, she had been in love with Neal at the time, and from the way he treated her, she believed he loved her too. Maybe he did abandon her and broke her, until she had begun to glue herself back together in Storybrooke, but compared to her relationship with him and any of the meaningless one night stands she'd had, Emma could tell Regina's past held darker and lonelier encounters.

The blonde pulled herself up and turned around, sitting on her calves, so she could look at Regina. Their eyes met with an intensity sparked by the dark emotions within them. Emma trailed her thumb down Regina's cheek until it stopped and she used her hand to guide the other woman's face to hers. Their eyes searched each other, finding that understanding they needed, reflected back at them. Then, Emma's lips fell to Regina's, meeting them tenderly a few times, before she pulled back a bit to meet the watery eyes, where love and desire now shadowed the haunting feelings from before.

"I meant them: the kisses; the touches; the way..." She hesitated briefly, the words catching in the back of her throat, until they loosened with the sight of the tear that rolled down Regina's cheek. "The way I made love to you."

Regina's hand rose up to grasp the one Emma still held her with, her thumb brushing over the the thumb that the blonde had just used to wipe the fallen tear away with.

"You know, I never felt beautiful," Emma confessed in something close to a whisper. "I may have the blonde hair, the ass, the pretty eyes or whatever, but the only way I knew my looks were appreciated was by those stares…I guess, you'd probably call them vulgar…but that look older guys give you when they're checking you out. It's weird because it feels good that somebody notices, but it makes you feel dirty too, that they see you as a piece of meat. But besides them, I felt unwanted."

Emma saw how Regina looked at her with empathy, and could feel the heat of Regina's breath against her chin when the woman's face moved nearer to hers, but stopped before their vision became unfocused with the closeness. Somehow Emma found herself continuing with the voice she thought she'd lost to emotion. "When people don't care about you, always tell you what you could change about yourself, and make you feel worthless, I don't think you can ever really feel beautiful or like you actually come with a value higher than a wad of gum on the sidewalk that's only there to annoy and disgust people when they step on it and it gets stuck to their shoe. But then, I met Neal…and he kind of made me see that I was more; that I could matter. It wasn't true love or whatever Henry would call it, but it was enough that I felt something. Then, he left me and I pretty much forgot whatever the hell he made me realize about myself," Bitterness rose in Emma's mouth and left with her words. The past was let go when she peered into the brown eyes staring back at her again, and a smile that fought to break through the remaining sadness appeared. "But you made me feel it again the other day. That I'm more than gum stuck to a shoe; that I matter. You even had me believing I might be beautiful. That I should see myself that way."

They were silent for a moment, staring at each other and wrestling with their own demons and flaws that were surfacing, while wanting to help the other's fade away. Nothing was more desirable than to paint over the wounds from their pasts and heal them into scars that would barely be there and would hurt less.

"Emma, you are beautiful," Regina's hand cupped her face and she found herself returning the heavy smile that fought against being weighed down. She tried so hard to make Emma believe the sincerity of the reassurance, imploring her to with her eyes. "I know what that's like to feel like less than you are…to think you're a disappointment. Daniel was the only one, other than my father, who I was good enough for just as myself. And he could have cared less if I was wearing my riding clothes or some fancy gown," Her eyes practically rolled away from Emma's at the disgust she felt toward the typical men who only considered her beautiful when they believed her to be dressed up for them.

She could feel the uncomfortable ache of her heart when she remembered how there was never anyone who saw her for who she was, after she had left her home to marry the king. "When I moved to Snow's castle and married, I never felt that way again. Of course, your mother always told me how beautiful I looked and the king...the king's eyes never failed to indicate whether I would be summoned to his chambers or not on a particular night. But it was those dresses that pushed and pulled and trapped me in them that made me feel beautiful, not that man's lust for me," The bile that rose in her throat was kept at bay and she pushed all of the disturbing, plaguing memories to the far back of her mind. Only one bothering thought remained and her body shook with rage and remorse, as it concentrated on it. "I-I don't think he even looked me in the eye when…he never…he didn't even try to see me!"

The strength of her voice crippled with the fury and grief at all that had been stolen from her, and the painful cry came out hoarse and low. A few tears slipped down her cheeks and Regina instinctively used her free hand to wipe the raw emotion away.

"Don't you ever think you're not beautiful, Regina," Emma said seriously, grasping the wrist of the hand Regina had continued to keep on Emma's cheek. "Anyone who used you or neglected you…they're all assholes, who didn't even deserve what they had when it came to you. Just thinking about them touching you disgusts me. Sure, I know what being neglected and unwanted is like after growing up the way I did, but hell, at least if someone forced themselves on me or used me for their own purpose, I could try to fight back. And at least at some point, I had someone to make love with in some kind of way…Not that it was anything compared to the other day."

A smile managed to appear on Emma's face, even as tears stung her eyes, and it even found a way to grow wider when Regina smiled too. "You saved my mom from a fucking runaway horse and all they did was take away everything you ever wanted. You were more of a hero than I've ever been, saving someone you didn't even know, and all Leopold and Cora thought about were their own selfish needs. You were brave and amazing, but they only cared about what that rescue meant for them. I mean, what kind of man is so arrogant that they'd think an eighteen year old would want to marry someone at least three times her own age, just so she could become a mother and wife to people she doesn't even know? Being queen doesn't come close to paying the price for that! Hell, nothing would ever be enough. He didn't even care about you and still made you…That is so fucked up! I just—no one ever took the time to see you."

This time it was Emma who was swiping at tears that escaped her eyes. All she wanted in that moment was to hold Regina and keep her from anything that would ever hurt her again. Emma couldn't deny how strong the other woman was, but she also understood why the walls around her were so high and resilient: all of the pain and real-life nightmares had been internalized and kept secret. Like herself, Regina hadn't wanted to share them with anyone, until an unexpected person came along and was stubborn enough not to leave. It may have taken time, but they were the people who managed to get under each other's skin, wouldn't leave each other's minds, and eventually, broke through the barriers around each other's heart.

"You see me," Regina said through her raspy voice, still holding Emma's face with her hand. "Even when you don't like what you see, you accept it's me and usually choose not to run. Or, if you do, you eventually come back to me."

"Everyone has something that's not so easy to look at. There are plenty of scary things in other people that we don't want to see, just like there are in ourselves," Quiet hovered over them, as Emma's observation sunk in. "Who knows, maybe they're the parts we should be looking for to begin with."

"They probably are," Regina agreed, knowing all too well how never taking the time to see another person's flaws or unhappiness could lead to irrevocable damage when that less desirable side of them was left to be ignored and had time to break them over and over. "What you just said is why I trust you. You've always taken a person's story into consideration and tried not to jump to conclusions. But you also don't give yourself enough credit. You saved my life multiple times when you didn't have to, so don't suggest you're less of a hero."

"You're wrong," Emma finally leaned forward and pressed her lips to Regina's in a soft, meaningful kiss. "I had to. Maybe I didn't know why the first time, but something inside of me did. I can't lose you."

Regina glanced down and licked her lips, which only reminded her of how much she had missed Emma when she tasted the unique flavor of the other woman in her mouth and recognized the warm tingling still present from the contact. "Perhaps, I wasn't as selfless as you think when it came to saving your mother. Maybe something inside of me knew too."

Emma gave a short laugh. "That the daughter of the girl you saved would end up being the mother of the son you'd adopt, and the woman you'd consider starting a relationship with?"

"It sounds ridiculous, I know, but…" The embarrassment that had Regina rambling disappeared when she realized the rest of what Emma said and her eyes snapped up to the green ones that were staring at her almost adoringly. "Relationship?"

Emma became slightly defensive at the shock the other woman didn't even try to hide in the word she choked out. "Well, that's what we're supposed to be figuring out, right? If we want to do this; make us work."

"Yes. Yes, it is," Regina offered in an attempt to quell the obvious negativity bubbling up in the blonde. She had a feeling the gruff tone Emma used, was more to protect herself, than to attack Regina. "I'm sorry, Emma. Just the way that you said it, makes it sound so simple and intimidating at the same time."

"But not impossible, like it probably would have sounded a few months ago," The way the words rose with a higher pitch at the end was the implication that the statement was actually a question for Regina and she could read the challenge in Emma's eyes. It was her turn to assure the blonde and be honest with her, yet Regina had no doubts that Emma had sensed some of the hesitation she was suddenly feeling, especially once she had retracted her hands.

"That's the part that troubles me. It's true that so much has changed, but it all happened so fast. I know what I feel for you and I want something with you, Emma, but it's something I don't even know how to have. And you don't either," The words were blunt, but true, and Regina had to push past the way Emma winced. Disappointment extinguished the remaining light in Emma's eyes and she saw the other woman part her lips, ready to counter her, but Regina's hand rose up to silence her. "I know you don't. Just because we have feelings for each other doesn't mean that they can survive a relationship, especially once everyone starts finding out. How will Henry react? And your parents? You said Snow could tell you were feeling something for me, but did she think of what it would mean if I felt the same way; if we ended up in a long term relationship? I'm not sure either of your parents would appreciate that."

Emma shook her head in defeat, yet tried to add lightness to her voice. "They're already dealing with the fact my son is related to Mr. Gold, but I see your point. It's not like I knew I was sleeping with Rumpelstiltskin's son at the time. I had no clue who Neal was. Everything is different with you," She kept their eyes locked, even as she tucked her yellow hair behind her ear. "I know who you are, Regina, and being with you is my choice. Believe me, I know how easily it can blow up in my face and break me again. It doesn't take much to rile each other up or want to bite the other's head off. We're alike in so many of the wrong ways and clash in almost all of the others," Both women weren't sure about whether to frown or laugh at the how absurd their relationship sounded when put into words, and settled on the straight lines their mouths were already in. "But see, when I choose whether or not to be with you, Regina, I'm not thinking of you as some evil queen. Maybe I should be, but I'm not. I'm not forgetting that part, but it doesn't define the person I see now; the woman that I want a relationship with no matter how many warning signs tell me not to go there. So, my parents need to understand that I see you for everything you are, and not just her."

This time it was Regina who fixed her hair, but unlike Emma her eyes drifted to the hand that she dropped back to her thigh. "Perhaps, but that doesn't erase what they've known me to be."

Emma couldn't help but reach for the hand that she followed the brown eyes to, and clasped it in a gentle command to get Regina to look at her again. "They know you've changed."

"I've hurt people, Emma. I had Snow's father killed."

There was little fight in the way Regina tried to make Emma understand the severity of the complications that the Charmings' daughter clearly hadn't thoroughly understood the magnitude of, but the firmness in the words still caused the blonde to swallow hard. "You were abused, angry, and broken. No one can tell me I wouldn't have done the same thing if I had been in your place."

"It still doesn't make anything that I did right. It doesn't take away the fact that no matter how many times I've thought about it, I can't find it within me to completely forgive your mother."

"I know," Emma breathed, finding a desperation within herself to convince Regina she really was aware of the horrible past their families shared, but that the future was what had become important to her, after everything that had happened in her life, especially recently. "I also know who you are and how you've changed. And I know you care about me. That's enough for me and it'll be enough for them because I know they love me. If they see me happy, they'll learn to be okay with it."

"You don't know that."

"I know that if I saw Henry happy, I'd do whatever I needed to (to) be a part of that. Just like I try not to complain when I walk in on _my parents_ doing things I don't need to see. I don't know much about this family stuff, but I know that all I care about is that they're happy."

"And you'd be happy with me? Even with the clashing and frequent need to bite each other's heads off?"

"As long as we fight healthy—no running away, no going to bed angry, and of course, lots of make-up sex, we'll be fine," Emma assured lightly and smirked at the playful, knowing look that appeared in Regina's eyes. One of her hands fell back to the one sitting in the other woman's lap, after brushing away a few strands of hair Regina hadn't managed to sweep out of her face. Emma became serious again and linked their fingers. "You—you make me feel all those things I gave up trying to find, because after Neal, it all just seemed hopeless. I never really had a family, no home, nobody to love or care about me. You know, those days I sat in jail with Henry kicking and driving me crazy with how much he was moving around inside of me, I thought there was a chance I could still have all that. I felt like he was my last chance at having it all, but even if he was enough for me, there was no way I'd be enough. There was no way that just the two of us together would have worked. I couldn't have given him a home or the comfort and security like you gave him. So, I let him go and gave him the chance to have all of those things, accepting how I'd probably lost any chance at having them. I didn't know that by giving him his chance, he'd come back to give me another one too. It's so weird how life works like that. But Henry brought me back to my family and now I have everything, even if I still need to get used to having parents and being settled in one place," Emma glanced down to their joined hands with a smile that only brightened some more. "The best part is I got the home I needed. Not just a place with a roof over my head, family, friends and a job, but somewhere where someone understands me, or tries to even when they'd rather use magic to send me flying as far away from them as possible."

Regina's eyes managed to glare at her, even with the tears that collected at their corners. "I haven't felt the urge to do that in a while."

"Not even the day you caught me on this beach a couple of weeks ago?"

"You surprised me."

"So you did want to blast me away with magic?" Emma quirked an eyebrow, enjoying the familiarity of their banter and the balance it seemed to always give them.

"If I wanted to I would have."

Emma shook her head with a laugh. "Okay," And her eyes returned to Regina's. She could make out the happiness that mingled with her reflection in the dark brown mirrors and knew she never wanted to not be able to see into Regina's eyes and lose herself in them. "It might sound crazy, but after sitting here by myself every morning with your coffee and your blanket, I know it's way too soon and I'm not rushing this, but you give me that feeling of being home. That's why I think this will be worth it, as long as you feel it is too."

Regina lifted their hands from her leg and pulled them beneath her chest, offering Emma a small smile. "The pillowcase on the other side of my bed doesn't match. I changed the sheets Monday, but not the pillow. It still smells like you."

"Like me?"

"Mmm. I don't want you to start gloating, but it's the only way I've been able to fall asleep. It makes me feel safe and comfortable."

"Like home," Emma nodded in understanding, but couldn't help smirking at the woman in front of her.

"I said no gloating."

"I'm not. Really," A chuckle rippled through Emma and the hard stare Regina gave her turned warmer with her own amusement. "I want you to feel that way. And this way too."

Emma leaned forward to capture Regina's lips with hers. The touch was chaste at first and caring. Soon, though, Regina responded and pressed her lips against Emma's, who slid hers over Regina's, deepening the kiss. Their mouths moved in a tender dance, slipping against each other in a heated, yet loving way. A hand reached up behind Regina's neck and another slid to her back, before Emma guided her down, so she was lying on the blanket.

Emma immediately followed the motion of the body under her and came to hover over Regina, as they claimed each other's lips again and again. Regina's fingers tangled in the gold waves of Emma's hair, while her other hand moved from the blonde's shoulder to her back. She slid her fingers under the shirt Emma wore, feeling the bumps rising on the skin beneath her hands to meet the cool touch. A moan past between their joined mouths and Regina nipped at Emma's lip in response to the woman's appreciation.

Before Emma dared to let her hands take part in exploring the body beneath her like they wanted to, she pulled away from Regina's mouth and continued the kisses down her neck instead. She stopped her lips at the exposed skin near her collarbone and lingered there. She heard Regina gasp when she swirled her tongue over where her lips had been and kissed the place once more, before picking her head up to stare into the dark, chocolate eyes of the woman breathing heavily under her.

She smiled down at Regina, noticing their chests rising and falling in sync. "You're beautiful," Emma pressed her lips to Regina's forehead and pulled back. "We'll figure this out and make it work. Like I said four days ago, you're more than a one-night-stand."

"Does that mean you'll be taking me out?" Regina's fingers played with the curls that had fallen over Emma's shoulder, until the blonde sat up and she copied her movement a moment later.

"You want to go on a date?" The question was serious, almost shocked, but the corners of Emma's mouth twitched up. She waited for Regina to answer, watching the hope, worry, and embarrassment blurring in her eyes. A hesitant breath of air could be heard just about leaving Regina's mouth as she started to speak.

"I thought we could do someth—you know what, nevermind."

Regina's head whipped away and she turned to face the trees along the beach. "No, Regina. I want to. I just didn't think you'd want to go out this soon."

The brown eyes traveled back to Emma again, not as soft as she wanted them to be when they looked at her, but less tentative and humiliated. "Well, I don't want to do anything too public. But I thought spending time together in that way might be nice."

Emma scooted closer to her. "It would be," One of her arms wound around Regina and she pulled her closer. "And please, stop with the mask. Remember, I want to know. I'm never going to think anything you feel is crazy or weird."

"Wish I could assure you of the same thing," Regina jabbed, her head falling against Emma's shoulder.

"Hey!" Emma shoved her leg with her own, taking offense, even if she did laugh. "Guess, I can't blame you."

"I knew you'd see things my way," Regina smirked up at her and placed a kiss on her jaw.

"Don't think that's going to happen every time."

"Of course, not. I am looking forward to that make up sex you mentioned earlier."

"I wonder how long we can go for without needing to make up," Emma bent her head down to peck at Regina's lips.

"I do hope it's longer than the amount of time it'll take me to convince you to come home with me."

"That doesn't really count because I don't need any convincing," Emma rested her forehead against Regina's, becoming intoxicated by the other woman's closeness.

"Mmm. We can go make you and me official. Right. Now."

Regina's eyes fell to Emma's lips and she leaned in to cover them with her own, slipping her tongue out to tease the blonde. She felt the way the other woman shivered, but then, Emma was breaking the kiss.

"I'm supposed to be working and so are you, Madam Mayor. I'm sure you don't want Mary Margaret calling you with a hundred questions," It was not easy to contain a laugh as Regina practically shuddered at Emma's words. Her lips fell into a frown at this unusually responsible Emma Swan.

"What about later?" Regina inquired, lifting her head out of the intimate proximity they were in.

"I have to take Henry to an appointment with Archie once he gets out of school."

"Then, after that?"

Emma was genuinely surprised by how much Regina seemed to need her. Honestly, it had her heart beating a little stronger to see the truth revealed in the brown eyes as to how much the other woman had missed her. Of course, she'd been longing for Regina too, but Emma had been so distracted with Henry and everyone else over the days they were apart, that any thoughts and feelings about Regina were only able to hit her when she was alone. Now, that she was here with Regina, though, her need was becoming overpowering as well.

There was the tiniest pout on Emma's face, knowing she was going to let Regina and herself down. "It's supposed to be a big session for him. Archie wants to talk to me afterward. And I was going to take Henry out for dinner and ice cream, then try to get him to beat me at video games and finish the next chapter of the book we've been reading."

"I understand," Emma could see Regina battling the disappointment she felt, even though she had no doubts that Regina really did understand the need to be a mother first.

The blonde rested a hand on Regina's arm. "He's really doing a lot better. Last night he told me that he misses you," Emma nodded in assurance at the disbelieving look in the brown eyes, and could feel Regina's relief through the shaky breath she released. If that hadn't revealed how much the heartfelt mention from her son meant to Regina, the tears she had to lift her eyes to the sky to keep from flowing down her cheeks, did. Emma gave her arm a squeeze. "He's just not ready to talk yet, but don't worry, he'll want to soon."

"That's—I miss him. So much."

Regina cleared her throat and brought her arms across her chest in a way that made her look like she was hugging herself. At first, Emma wasn't sure whether the way Regina was holding herself was a hint that she wanted space, or not, and she hesitated to touch her. Finally, she decided to settle her hand on Regina's back, and the other woman wasted no time in falling against Emma as soon as she touched her. The desperate need to be held still felt so out of character for the woman who always forced herself to appear strong and stoic, and it left Emma to wonder how long it had been, since Regina had anyone to lean on. It also had her becoming overly aware of the loneliness that she had always recognized in Regina, and for the first time, Emma felt it seeping through to her. She had experienced isolation and loneliness, but never had it held such a permanency and hopeless emptiness like the kind she was sensing from Regina. Maybe it was the fact that she'd lived longer than Emma. No matter what the reason was it wasn't something she wanted anyone, especially Regina, to feel.

"What about meeting here tomorrow around five? I'll take you on a date."

"You're not going to pick me up?" Regina wondered in mock offense and brought her head up to peer at Emma.

"No, I'll need all the time I can get for what I'm thinking of doing, but I'll definitely bring you home."

The implication and longing in the green eyes that stared at her, brought some levity back to Regina and she grinned up at Emma. "Good because I want you to."

"Not as much as I want to go home with you," Emma flirted and her face scrunched up when she realized what she said. "Ugh. When did I start to sound so…"

"Like your parents?" Regina supplied.

"Yeah. Cheesy and sappy."

Regina shrugged. "I suppose it didn't skip a generation like you thought."

"Guess not," They stood up and Emma helped Regina shake out the blanket, watching the sand being carried away by the wind.

They stepped a good distance apart and began absent-mindedly folding the blanket. "So, where are you taking me on this date?"

"Not telling," Emma sent her a smug smirk over the blue material.

"Well, at least give me an idea of what to wear."

"I'd go with beach attire."

"Our date is going to be here?" Regina wasn't sure if she was pleased at the idea and found it sweet, or was slightly disappointed that they'd only be continuing with their meetings on the beach.

"You'll see," Emma winked, walking over to Regina with the ends of the blanket that she held and helped her fold it the rest of the way, so it fit neatly in her arms. "Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

"I hope so."

"Close your eyes."

The order earned Emma a glare from Regina, before her eyes fluttered shut. "Why am I doing this?"

"Because you love-" Emma froze before she could finish her thoughtless remark. It seemed like such a natural thing to say in response that she didn't notice what she was saying until it was almost completely out of her mouth. Her heart fluttered in her chest and her stomach felt like there was something much bigger than butterflies suddenly flying around inside it.

"Because I love what?" The way Regina's bottom lip trembled with her question was an admission in itself that she was just as nervous to hear the response, as Emma was to say it. No matter how self-assured the way Regina baited her was, there was always that hint of vulnerability creeping in.

Choosing not to answer and doing what she had intended to from the moment she instructed Regina to close her eyes, Emma brought her lips to Regina's in a slow kiss. She made every move deliberate from the way she initially pressed her lips against Regina's, to the way they moved gently over hers; to how she sucked and flicked her tongue out savoring, appreciating and cherishing the other woman in a fervent need to make Regina feel the way Emma felt about her. Her hands found either side of Regina's face in a brief caress, and then, she used the light hold on Regina to anchor them, as the other woman began to respond with her own nips and strokes of her tongue. After a few deep moans that added to their breathlessness, Emma finished what she had started with a few short, relishing kisses.

When Regina's eyes sluggishly opened, they were met with a soft smile. "Because you love when I kiss you. And because I want you to feel the way I feel about you. I want to make good on the promise I made to remind you that you deserve this."

Regina echoed her smile, as any earlier doubts and insecurities left her. No one had ever kissed her like that and she only hoped that the way she reciprocated it was enough in return for Emma. "Thank you."

"See, we can do this."

"Not if you find a way to ruin our date," Regina's eyes danced playfully, as they stared at Emma, taking in the slight frustration, as it became evident in the blonde.

"I'm not going to, but I think you'd give me another chance."

"Would I?"

"We all make mistakes. Not to mention, there would have to be some kind of making up involved."

With an amused roll of her eyes, Regina grabbed Emma's hand and led the way back up the beach and onto the trail. The hand tucked in her own gave her the courage to allow the happiness she felt to wash over her. For the first time, she wasn't alone, empty, or hurting in any way. That left her grateful and overwhelmed with the warmth flooding her heart. Maybe she could have a new start and a happy life; maybe they both could with each other and Henry. If only that voice inside of her that had seen every good thing broken and ripped away from her, would stop trying to convince her otherwise.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry this took so, so long. Real life took over, but I was working on this update whenever I could. I'm hoping now that things have settled down to have more time to write, so more updates for this story and the others are on the way. Thanks for continuing to read! It really means a lot. Hope you like this chapter. Not sure how it got quite so lengthy, but it did. **

**Chapter 7: Trusting and Believing**

The gentle, yet determined motion of the cool morning breeze off the water, turned the page of the novel held tightly by Regina's stiff hands that hadn't moved in the ten minutes, since she'd read the last word on the page the wind had just forced away from her. Her thumbs had been pressed against the smooth paper almost like the book was a lifeline that she understood was about to be pulled from her.

There was a reason she hadn't used her shaky fingers to flip to the next page; the final page. She already knew how it ended and it wasn't the ending she wanted; the ending she had spent the hundreds of previous paragraphs and pages hoping for.

After they'd talked yesterday and left the beach, Emma had walked with Regina to the mayor's office, squeezing her hand and running a thumb down her cheek, before saying she'd see her the next day for their date. Regina had watched Emma walk away; delaying her going inside the building to see what work Mary Margaret needed help with that day.

The stack of papers she had found sitting on her desk would have looked intimidating to anyone else, but Regina was so used to the paperwork that she merely fell gracefully into her chair and pulled the first folder from the top of the pile. It wasn't until her eyes had skimmed halfway down the second page of the document she was reading, that her thoughts had distracted her again: Emma, Henry and the nonexistent chances at lasting happiness for an evil queen, flooded her mind.

Regina had stood up in order to stare out the window, her gaze focused up toward the clouds that threatened to cover the sun. A loud exhale had escaped her lips, and she hadn't even been sure of whether it was a sigh or groan. All she knew was that it didn't matter, as long as it wasn't the weak sob she had expected. With a conflicted look that she cast back over at the papers awaiting her, she had decided to retreat from her office. Nothing would have ended up being accomplished with her having felt the way she did. She'd figured she just needed proof not to worry, and then, she would have been able to get back to her work.

For a moment, Regina had considered how she could find such proof, but then, when she was walking in town and passing the library, it had dawned on her: someone had to have a story written about them that didn't leave out any details. There had to be some writer that blended the black and white, and showed how someone could do evil things and still turn out good. How they could redeem themself and find happiness just like any hero was allowed to.

With a few typed words and clicks of a computer at a table in the corner of the library, Regina had learned the title of a book that was likely to give her what she was after. Of course, that had only been after almost two hours of Google searches for at least one former villain who had remained happy. Belle had looked surprised when she brought the novel up to the front desk to be checked out, but hadn't commented on it further than telling Regina she hoped she'd enjoy it.

Making the choice to catch up on her work the following day and knowing she had no plans for the evening, Regina had opened the book as soon as she got home. She had immersed herself in it the rest of the day, sleeping only a few hours, before she woke up and read up until the final chapter that morning. She had told herself reading it would be her reward after she finished the paperwork she had neglected.

Getting an early start to her day, she had figured it was too nice outside to stay hunched over her desk inside. Instead, she thought it would be a better idea to get some of her work done at the beach, where there would be no one to bother her and less of a chance of her thoughts becoming dark, when she wasn't surrounded by the fact that Snow White was somewhere else in the building also working.

Once she had arrived at her private escape, a flick of her hand had a wooden picnic table appearing close to the trees on the right side of the beach. She had then settled the small pile of folders she had brought with her, onto the surface and sat in front of them, taking a deep breath and reveling in the serene view of the water. But then, something had suddenly hit her and she had to know the ending of the book. She'd told herself she would read through it quickly, before starting her work. The novel had then been easily pulled from her purse and she had opened to the final chapter.

The second to last page had come too fast and too slow for her at the same time, but as she read the words it became clear: there would be no lasting happiness for the man, who had once been seen as a villain.

Regina was now trying so hard to focus through her blurred vision on the dark words that were printed on the page the wind had made her look upon. She really didn't want to see the truth that would try to erase her hope. The words dared and mocked her at the same time, and she wished her hands would move; that her forearms resting against the hard picnic table, which was now digging into her skin, would lift up the bound pages and shut them forever. However, she could only stare.

Regina had done horrible things. She'd been the hand behind unspeakable acts. And no matter how justified she'd felt at the time, and still did feel in ways for a lot of them, there was no denying that they were cruel and vicious. There was no sugar-coating her past. Perhaps, she'd always been misunderstood and no one really knew her inner torments and unhappiness, but she had extinguished the good in her for a long time. The hurt, the hate and the vengeance had consumed her, and there had been no coming back from that.

It was true that over time, Storybrooke allowed her to escape the Evil Queen to some degree, or at least, until Henry read the book. But during those three decades, she had found herself wanting love again…she didn't want to be alone anymore. She adopted Henry and cared for him. She had tried so hard to be good again for him; was still trying. And somewhere during that time, she'd found herself caring for his birth-mother—for Emma. The only person, since Snow White, who believed there was still good in her and that she could change. The only person who had loved her, even after seeing and realizing all of the darkness that had been a part of her and would always scar her.

Emma had her hoping she could have happiness again, and when Regina was with the other woman, she found herself believing it was possible. It left her silently wishing that no matter how unlikely it seemed, maybe somewhere along the line, she had come to deserve it.

Regina startled and was shaken from her thoughts when she felt a warm presence against her back, but relaxed some, once she sensed who it was.

"I had a feeling you were here. Nice picnic table. Whatcha reading?" She recognized the curious smile in Emma's voice, as the other woman leaned forward to peer over her shoulder.

Just as the blonde reached for the book, Regina snapped out of the dense darkness swirling through her mind and slammed it shut, before making it disappear, so all that remained in her fingers was air.

"What the hell, Regina!" Emma pulled her hand back, annoyed at Regina's actions, especially after they had almost caused her hand to get caught between the pages crashing together. "If you didn't want me to know, you could've just said so. I thought you weren't using magic?"

Regina didn't react to Emma's words and remained still, staring out toward the water. The fact that she didn't even look at Emma had the other woman becoming genuinely worried about her, especially after sensing how emotionally heavy Regina seemed.

"Hey," She soothed, sitting beside Regina on the bench, her back leaning against the table, so she could better see the brunette. Emma's hand reached out to rest on the other woman's forearm.

Regina wanted to pull herself out of Emma's grasp, but she felt too frozen to even flinch or relax into the touch she had come to desire. Yet, even though her limbs had fallen into some kind of odd paralysis, that didn't stop a sniffle from escaping her. She mentally kicked herself because now, there was no way Emma was going to leave. And now, there was no way Regina would still want her to go.

"Regina, look at me," Emma ordered firmly, but with enough of a plea in her voice as to not anger the other woman. "You're crying." The sight of a tear falling down the side of the cheek nearest Emma had the back of her hand meeting the wet trail on Regina's face, as her own throat tightened.

A sigh that was more of a shudder shook Regina's body.

"Just go," Regina barely managed to choke out in a raw whisper.

"You really think I'm going to just get up and walk away when you're like this?"

"If it's what I want…" Regina answered coolly without turning to her.

"But it's not. And don't you dare try to tell me that it is because I know better," Emma tried her best not to give in to her frustration and continued more tenderly, as she slid the back of her hand down Regina's cheek, "Tell me what's going on. Please."

"It doesn't matter," Regina finally cleared her throat and turned briefly to make eye contact with Emma.

The blonde shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "Nope, not buying that. Try again."

Regina shot a glare at Emma, before averting her eyes until they were trained on nothing in particular. It earned her a moment to collect her thoughts, and even though she didn't really want to say anything, she was soon looking to Emma again. "Why do we always end up alone?"

Emma stared at her for a moment, taking in the question Regina's voice had tried so hard not to quiver during.

"We as in…"

The way Regina continued to stare at her was intense, but not at all impatient with Emma's needing her to clarify. "Villains. People who do terrible things. Whether we try to be better or not it always ends the same."

That was all it took for Emma to catch on to what had Regina acting the way she was. "What book were you reading?"

"Does it matter when they're all like that," Regina's head sank with the defeated breath she released.

"Ok, point taken. But why were you reading it? I thought you were the one who told Henry there are always important details left out and that we really only get to hear one side of the story."

Regina's throat rose and fell in an attempt to swallow her emotions, but her voice still came out more quiet than usual. "I needed reassurance and I didn't know where else to look."

The lines on Emma's forehead deepened. "Reassurance?"

"I don't want to lose this…any of it," She replied firmly and felt how Emma's hand rubbed over the top of her leg, only to settle on her thigh in comfort and understanding. Her lips twitched in reaction, fighting to curve upward, and she wondered if the other woman noticed any hint of a grateful smile. "But it seems my happiness is always taken away. I don't need the white picket fence, tons of money, or even magic…just you and Henry. That's all it would take at this point to make me happy. Yet, that's not the way it goes, apparently."

"Says who? Writers of some books designed to pull at people's hearts and tell a good story?" Emma wondered in a rough whisper, as her voice began to rise with the hopelessness lacing what Regina was convincing herself of. "Maybe to some you're a damn fairytale character or whatever, but no one's writing a story about you now. This isn't fiction."

"That doesn't mean something won't even things out eventually—life, the universe, fate…"

"And if it does? Are you not going to give this a shot just because something _might _happen?" Emma sat up straighter and retracted her hand from Regina, so she could fold her arms across her chest.

"You can't promise me I won't lose you," Regina told her honestly. Her eyes were piercing, but her voice broke, unable to hold the severity she wanted to communicate.

"And _you _can't tell _me _that's a good enough reason for either of us to end this and accept we're cowards."

Neither said anything for a moment, reflecting on the discussion that had already passed between them. Finally, Regina met Emma's eyes again. Her voice came out low but sounding fiercely convinced of what she was saying. "Something will go wrong…it always does."

Emma sighed, her arms falling to her sides, instead of staying in their previously defensive position. "Or maybe it's the first time something will go right for both of us."

Regina studied Emma. The green eyes told her to trust what she was saying and to believe in them. There was that faith and optimism that Emma had been wrong about completely skipping a generation in her family.

"I want to believe that," Regina replied softly, her voice lacking any hesitation as it spoke the truth.

"Then, you should." A sharp nod added definitiveness to Emma's statement.

"How can you?" The quiet question was asked, as Regina stared out at the colorful lobster buoys sprinkled across the top of the blue water. When Emma didn't say anything, the brunette turned to her. "How are you able to believe this will go right after all the terrible things you've been through?"

Emma's hand drifted to Regina's arm, where it settled as a tiny smile ghosted her lips. "The risk is worth more than what I'm afraid of. I told you I found my family and my home. I'm going to hold onto that to the point where no one will be able to get me to let go."

"And if it all falls apart? If Henry ultimately decides he never wants to speak to me again?"

A couple of fingers brushed over the blazer beneath them and Emma's eyes met Regina's brown ones intensely, holding only truth. "Not going to happen. I'd be an idiot to let it. Plus, Henry wants to see you."

Regina's eyebrows moved toward each other in uncertainty and confusion. Seeing her befuddled reaction, Emma patted her arm and nodded.

"He asked me if he could ask you over last night, but it was really late, so I said tomorrow. Then, he begged me to let him go to school late, so he could talk to you this morning but I said you wouldn't be happy about that. I told him I'd find you, while he was at school and see if we could meet up afterward."

"How responsible of you," It was definitely a compliment, but Emma heard the familiar sarcasm trying to get through, more out of habit for Regina than she believed the other woman actually intended it to come through.

"Sadly, I think this means postponing our date later, since I'm keeping up with the responsible, good mom thing. The weather still looks good for tomorrow so-"

"Emma-" Her name was caught somewhere between a plea and an objection, which had the blonde hearing the words that would cancel their date, before Regina could say them.

"No, I'm not going to let you throw this away!" Emma became adamant, moving on the bench. The way her head shook back and forth, while she held up her hand, stopped Regina from interrupting. "I'm sorry you lost Daniel and I'm sorry you've been left alone way too many times, but that's going to change. I promise. Well, unless Henry needs me to read to him and interrupts another sleepover, but-"

"Emma." Regina spoke her name gently this time, effectively getting through to her and interrupting her rambling.

"Huh?"

Regina leaned in and kissed her softly, as a way to thank her and silence her.

"I'm trying so hard to believe," She breathed when she pulled her lips away from Emma's.

"Yeah, me too," Emma exhaled, her hand glided up Regina's face, so her fingers could weave through her dark hair: a comfort and promise to both of them. "Maybe it'll be enough, and for once, we won't be dealt the shitty card we had no control over, but were forced to deal with."

"I hope so."

"And stop with the villain thing. Please."

Regina nodded against Emma's hand.

"This story is going our way whether it wants to or not," Emma told her firmly, stroking her thumb over the hair just above Regina's ear.

A bemused Regina's lips twisted into a smirk. "Sounds like you'll be re-defining character-driven."

"_We _will be."

Emma tilted Regina's head toward hers and a placed a kiss that was a little short of being chaste on her mouth. Then, she pulled Regina against her in as much of a hug as the bench and table would allow for. She felt how Regina's lips pressed into her arm, before the woman shifted and placed another kiss beneath her neck, the side of her head then settling over the spot, as she leaned into Emma.

They stayed like that for a few minutes; each woman calmer and more hopeful, as they took in the familiarity of each other. Regina listened to Emma's heart, its gentle rhythm drumming against her ear. She nestled further against it, and felt green eyes watching her curiously, before they filled with understanding.

Emma took Regina's hand, placing it near where her head lay against Emma. The strong beats pulsed through their joined hands. "I'm not going anywhere."

Regina shifted to place a kiss on Emma's knuckles. "I know. Sometimes I just need to be reminded. I'll never get tired of hearing it."

"My heartbeat or me saying I'm not going anywhere?"

"Both."

Emma smiled down at her and she brought their hands to cover Regina's heart. "Yeah, I like hearing the same from you."

"I'm not going anywhere either. Not that I'd get very far if I did. You have a way of always showing up at my door…or my beach."

"Must be part of the 'finding' thing I inherited from my parents," Emma chuckled.

"As long as you don't go around shouting it, we'll be fine."

Emma looked to Regina in mock offense. "I would never do such a thing."

"No, I know. Which is why I think I'll keep you around," Regina hummed into Emma's shirt.

"At least that makes my job easier. Showing up and convincing you to let me in takes a lot of work, let me tell you."

"Are you saying I'm a handful?" Regina stared up at Emma, her eyebrow raised. The warning in her eyes told the blonde she should think very carefully about how she answered.

"No, I'm saying you're Regina. And even though Regina is totally worth whatever I have to do to get her to open up to me, I prefer not expecting to be pushed away at first, anymore."

"I'm sorry I made so many things difficult for you," Regina played with the fingers that were still linked with her own.

"Hey, there are some things a person has to earn, and trust is a huge deal for us. I just wish we could have found a way to trust each other sooner."

"Mm I suppose we prefer to start with big gestures, such as you shoving me out of the way when the wraith went through the hat."

"Or you stopping Tamara from killing me on the Jolly Roger," Emma added.

"Yes, after someone saves your life a few times, I think you have to trust them."

"It would make sense to," Emma grunted in amusement. "Too bad I didn't give you a reason to trust that I wouldn't take Henry from you."

"It may have helped, but I'm not sure how much it would have mattered. You were Snow's daughter, after all. I was different when you first came here," Regina replied seriously, moving to sit up, and leaving Emma's arms. "But that doesn't matter now, does it?"

"No, can't change the past," Emma concurred, feeling unhappy that Regina wasn't in her arms anymore. "But I can do everything to make it better now."

The unspoken promise left a grateful smile on Regina's lips. It had nothing to do with owing Regina anything, they both knew that. They had both done things to negatively affect the other's life and hurt each other more than once, so it wasn't at all about Emma evening things between them out of fairness. Instead, it was the unuttered promise in Emma's words, which she could also see reflected in Regina's eyes. A promise that the past was the past, and that they wouldn't have to go through the future empty and alone. That they would always have the trust they each continued to work so hard for and deserve.

Regina cleared her throat when it was clear there wasn't anything else to be said about what had silently passed between them. "About our son, where do you want me to meet you two later?"

It took Emma a minute to catch up with Regina's train of thought, and then, a few more seconds to think over the question. "How about here? There's privacy, which means no possible interruptions from my parents. And it's not your house, which I think would make Henry feel more comfortable for this conversation at least."

Regina made a sound in approval. Her eyes then rose to Emma's almost timidly. "Will you stay?"

Emma shrugged her shoulder, but her eyes were more caring as they tried to sooth the worry and doubt in Regina's. "Only if you both want me to. I really don't think either of you will need me, though."

"We will. More than you know."

At those words that sounded so honest, yet lacking in confidence, Emma's hand traveled to Regina's back. "I had a long talk with Archie yesterday. He thinks Henry's doing great."

"That's good," Regina smiled at her and she let herself relax into Emma's touch. "Did Henry talk to you at all?"

"Yeah."

The reply was hesitant. Regina could tell Emma didn't want to betray Henry's trust, but also wanted to answer her.

"I told him to tell you what he told me," Emma continued after a beat, her hand still moving over Regina's back.

"Is he sleeping all right?"

"He still didn't want me to leave last night until he was asleep, but he slept okay."

Regina exhaled. "We may have to discuss that with Dr. Hopper."

"Or not."

"Why wouldn't we?" The way Regina shifted, had Emma stopping the messy circles she had been drawing with her palm over the gray blazer. "It's not normal for him."

"I'm pretty sure it's because he misses you," It was said sincerely and without worry.

"You've lost me."

"I was kind of wearing your shirt—the one I never gave back yet."

Regina's eyes widened in recognition. "Emma!"

"I told him you let me borrow it. He didn't even care about the reason. When I hugged him goodnight, he said it reminded him of you. It still smells kind of like you, so I think that's what he meant. He just said if I wasn't going to let him call you and ask you to come over so late, I needed to lay by him, until he went to sleep."

Regina cleared the emotion that rose in her throat. "You should have let him call me."

"I didn't want him to be tired for school today. He went through a ton emotionally yesterday. I thought he should sleep before seeing you."

"No one said it was your place to decide," Regina bit back somewhat harsh, but didn't shake Emma's hand off of her.

"It was what was best for him. You would have done the same thing, Regina," Emma fought back, trying to make her point without encouraging them to really argue.

"I could have held him," Regina whispered.

"You will in a few hours," Emma scooted closer to the other woman and her hand glided from Regina's back to her shoulder. "And I swear, if one of you doesn't initiate a freaking hug, I'm going to. I'll hang around just to make sure of that if I have to."

A bright smile formed on Regina's face, forcing any tears that had threatened to form to completely disappear. "Thank you. I'm sorry you have to postpone our date for this."

"I'm not. You both need this. And hey, it gives me more time to come up with ways to impress you."

Regina laughed. "I think the word you're looking for is 'woo'."

"Woo-impress, same thing," Emma shrugged. "Unless it's because I've already impressed you with rescuing you from a burning building or with my quick uptake on how to control my magic."

Regina rolled her eyes teasingly. "If you really must know, it's the way you figured out how to help our son and chose to read to him when you could have been taking a shower with me."

"Oh, so you're attracted to the single-mom thing."

"You are no longer single if I have anything to say about it."

"Mm yeah…I'm also far from an only parent," Emma chuckled, taking back the label she had used. She found Regina's hand again, not knowing why it was so important she keep them linked by touch, but feeling that it was. "The truth is, my son's other mom is a gorgeous, amazing woman, who is _also_ likely to skip shower sex if our son wants her to read to him. And said-other-mom, is going to be taken on the first date she completely deserves tomorrow. And if she so much as tries to argue with me about any of tha-"

"Then what?" Regina quirked an eyebrow.

"Then, I'm not above finding a way to throw her and her expensive, designer suit into the water over there."

Brown eyes narrowed at her. "You wouldn't."

"Any arguments?"

"N-no arguments," Regina stuttered, unsure about how serious Emma's threat was.

"Good," Emma squeezed her hand, before pulling hers away. "I should probably still throw you in there for looking to a book to see if we have a chance."

"Well, we technically do have a book to thank for bringing us together."

Something like a groan came from Emma and she crossed her arms. "You could make that same argument and say we have to thank Rumplestiltskin for getting Henry for you in the first place."

"That's a valid point."

"Yeah, and one that I don't want to think about, since Henry wouldn't even exist without him."

Regina gave a half-hearted shrug. "You brought it up."

"To make my point."

"You're still not throwing me into that water."

"No, that would be too cruel," Emma gave her a crooked smile that held more sincerity than the teasing, mischievous glint in her eyes. "But—I have others ways of convincing you to go in."

"Oh, really?" Regina challenged Emma with her eyes, waiting to find out her grand plan, while trying to hide a smirk.

"Yep."

"And how do you plan on accomplishing that?"

"Well, it's getting a little too warm for my pullover and your blazer," Emma said, standing up behind the brunette and sliding Regina's jacket off of her shoulders, placing it on the side of the table.

"Sheriff, I have work to do," Regina scolded and motioned to the batch of folders in front of her.

"It can wait twenty minutes," Emma smiled suggestively, as she pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a gray tank top.

"Emma!"

"Come on," The blonde leaned across the table and kissed Regina quickly, but longingly. "You wanted reassurance…well, this is me reassuring you that sometimes it's worth being risky and accepting the dare from yourself. Trust me."

Regina rolled her eyes. "You're really using the trust thing?"

Emma didn't answer and only started to walk down to the water, purposely swaying her hips that were still covered by denim. She took a peek over her shoulder to see Regina's hands crash to the table in exasperation and she heard her groan as she stood up. Emma had only taken a few more steps before Regina tugged on her arm and stopped her from going further. Her lips met Emma's in a brief kiss that had heat rushing from Emma's mouth to her toes, and then, back up to her belly. She moaned loudly into it, but when she tried to deepen it, she felt Regina smile against her and pull away.

"Really dear, if you want to be seductive, _this _is how," The brunette untucked her shirt from the gray pencil skirt she wore, unbuttoning it halfway under the mesmerized gaze of green eyes, before she turned away from Emma and completed the task. Then, she slowly slid it off her shoulders and gracefully moved her arms out of the sleeves, until the garment slipped to the sand and pebbles at her feet.

Emma watched the material drop beside Regina and almost panicked when she was unable to catch her breath. After making their way up over the tight-fitted skirt, Regina's bare back except for the thin strap of her black bra, and her face which was flushed with as much desire as Emma's, green eyes found Regina's and the brunette smirked over her shoulder.

When she was sure she had Emma's complete attention again, she moved her hands to the zipper at the back of her skirt and pulled it down in a tedious motion that was strong enough for Emma to hear how the teeth of the zipper each came undone and detached from its mates.

Regina kept her head turned slightly to the right, her eyes closed, as she shimmied out of the skirt and pictured the way she knew Emma had just licked her lips, as the bottom half of her suit collected at her feet, leaving only black lace to barely cover her.

For the briefest moment, Regina felt truly vulnerable and it had her marveling at how she had reached this point. Yes, her Evil Queen outfits had always been far less than modest, and yes, many people had eyed her hungrily, but what she was feeling was far from sexual vulnerability, just as it had been the day Emma took her home. This was about intimacy and feelings. This was about love, even though the word had hardly been said out loud yet.

Here she was, standing on a beach in her underwear, with the morning sun doing nothing to hide her physically or emotionally, and she was trusting Emma to continue to see into her and follow her. But what was truly meaningful in that moment to Regina, was that it wasn't the way she was sauntering to the blue bay in front of her that would make Emma follow, it was the way they needed each other and wanted to share themselves with each other that she understood would drive Emma to her.

As she stepped into the tiny waves lapping against the shore, Regina shivered from the cool, prickly touch of the water on her warm skin. The burning, yet tender look Emma had stared at her with had made her forget just how cold and almost, unpleasantly, refreshing even a bay could be during the height of Maine's summer. Like always, she quickly adapted and cleared her mind of everything, before she flung herself toward the water, swimming into its shocking embrace.

"Shit," Regina soon heard Emma grumble from behind.

The deep laugh the brunette gave her in reply, had Emma smiling through the cold rippling inside her body, her arms clutching each other across her chest.

Regina grinned adoringly, as Emma's teeth noticeably chattered, and she shook her head, "I see you managed to get your jeans off rather quickly."

"G-god, Regina. How can you swim in this? It's freezing!"

"Did you expect Maine to have tropical oceans?"

"No, but geez! You could have warned me that once you get past the ankles, it's torture," Emma shifted on her feet, trying to keep warm. The tops of her thighs were covered in goose bumps, while the rest of her legs were hidden under the water.

Regina swam toward her and then rose out of the water, drops of the saltwater raining from her skin back down to the clear liquid surface.

"Here," She took Emma's warm hands and tugged her forward.

"Regina, no," Emma protested.

"Don't think you're the only one capable of throwing someone in. Now, time for you to trust _me_."

Emma stared at her skeptically and let Regina pull her deeper into the water.

"Don't think about it," Regina soothed, as she felt Emma shiver. "Think about how warm our hands are."

"N-not good enough," Emma chattered as the water edged closer and closer to her hips.

Instead of continuing to pull her, Regina moved into Emma and closed most of the gap between them. "Think about this," Regina whispered and found Emma's lips with a kiss that was purposely searing and immediately had warmth shooting through both of them.

Emma responded right away, getting lost in Regina, as their tongues brushed against each other, convincing the two women not to pull away. Emma was so caught up in what she was doing and so entranced by what she felt Regina's mouth doing to her, that she didn't think anything of it when she felt the cold, wet sensation of Regina's arms encircling her. She hardly even felt the shock of the piercing cold water when Regina drug most of their bodies under the surface. It was only when Regina guided them out more toward the horizon, that Emma almost broke the kiss with a scream in surprise at the floating motion of their bodies. Regina, however, was quick to catch it with her mouth and nipped at Emma's bottom lip, telling her to ignore everything but the kiss.

Almost as a way to defy Regina's silent order, Emma let her hands slide from Regina's face to her slippery arms and down to her sides beneath the water. She let her hands wander over the rough band of lace encircling Regina and followed it to her chest, which was pressed up against Emma's. Her fingers slipped between their bodies, cupping the padded lace that held Regina's breasts, before she squeezed with enough pressure to make Regina gasp enough to end their kiss.

"That was for tricking me and dragging me out here," Emma huffed, but gave Regina a wicked smile. "And this is the thank you for making it less painful. I needed to get in here at some point, right? I appreciate you making it quick and sort of painless," Emma kissed her before Regina could say anything in reply, her fingers moving to the straps of Regina's bra and bringing them down her arms. She felt the way the bra had loosened its hold on Regina and moved to cradle her breasts in her palms, her thumbs gliding over them, until they found the peaks of her nipples. As brown eyes rolled back and closed, Emma captured Regina's lips again.

"You know, this would be better without the cold saltwater that kind of smells like fish," Emma commented when she lifted her head from Regina's and stared down at the water between them.

"You're going to let a little saltwater ruin this," Regina made her point by lifting one of her legs, so it sat on Emma's hip and snaked around her body, before she pulled herself against Emma. They both moaned as the lace and warmth from Regina's center crashed against the side of Emma's waist. Without wasting time, Emma used one of her hands to scoop Regina's other leg up, so she was holding the other woman, who had crossed her legs behind Emma's back and her arms around the blonde's neck.

"I like this a little better," Emma muttered happily when she saw she had lifted Regina's upper half out of the water. She wasted no time in bending her head and taking one of Regina's needy nipples into her mouth and began sucking the cold away. She felt Regina's head snap back, as she grazed her teeth over the puckered flesh and her right hand slid up Regina's back to keep her from falling.

Once she had decided the flesh in her mouth was warmed up enough and Regina was begging her to do the same to her other breast by massaging it with both their hands, Emma took the other nipple between her teeth. That earned her a shriek and Regina's nails dug into the back of her neck. She soothed the gentle bite with her tongue, before taking as much of Regina into her mouth as possible, sucking and swirling her tongue over her skin, so it warmed up like its twin had.

When she was finished, she licked her way up to Regina's neck, which bent back slowly this time, making it easier for Emma to place kisses along her throat, until she reached Regina's jaw and pecked at her lips.

"You see, salty isn't that bad," Regina breathed heavily, tasting the more-potent-than-usual taste on Emma's lips.

"Only because I love you," Emma grumbled out without much thought. She only realized what she had said at the noticeable way Regina's breath caught in her throat. Whether it was out of fear, shock, or secretly needing to hear the words, though, Emma couldn't tell.

Neither said anything and Emma could only watch as Regina's eyes slowly melted back into the soft, warm brown they had been before her comment. There was no doubt in Emma's mind that Regina's slow acceptance and transition of her features had been half to process what she'd just heard and half to give Emma time to back pedal.

And admittedly, there was the brief temptation to stutter or take it back, but Emma couldn't come up with any reason why she should, so she decided to say it again because she needed to and wanted Regina to really hear it.

"I love you," Emma repeated softly with a sincerity that had Regina smiling, as she touched Emma's cheek.

The sudden realization of her own randomness made Emma laugh a little. "You know how badly I wanted to say that when we were on that boat, and so many freaking times after that," Emma confessed, not caring about the blush creeping into her cheeks. "You'd think after all that, not to mention, my talks with Mary Margaret and Archie, I would have made a plan of when to say it, but here it is."

"Sometimes unplanned is better," Regina's voice was quiet, but there was still a smile on her lips.

"Yeah, I've noticed things work out better for me when I don't plan. Better to just let things happen, than think them over too much and chicken out," Emma sighed and looked back up into Regina's eyes, her hands sitting on Regina's shoulders. "I do, though. Love you."

"I-I know," Regina tried to keep smiling, but felt the upward curve of her lips slipping down, just as her upper body had dipped below the water again, even though she was still wrapped around Emma.

Seeing the darkness beginning to cloud Regina, Emma placed a kiss on her forehead. "You don't have to say it back yet. I might be impulsive and impatient sometimes, but this is something I can wait for."

Regina kissed her softly. "You're too understanding."

"I'd say it's about time you had someone who was as understanding as me," And although the weight of her words was felt, the slight smirk that tugged at the corner of Emma's mouth showed the playful bragging she'd intended.

"It sure took you long enough to show up," Regina tossed back easily.

"I got here eventually. All that matters," Emma defended, holding Regina's gaze.

The moment was broken by Regina's body shaking against Emma's.

"I think my twenty minutes of reassuring and distracting you are up," Emma half-teased and brought the bra straps she had maneuvered back into place on Regina's shoulders. A pout was visible on the other woman's mouth and Emma had to do a double-take to make sure she wasn't seeing things. "You want to stay in here?"

"No, but I didn't get to…_do _anything to you," Regina let her finger trail down Emma's neck to the top of her chest.

"Except drive me crazy enough to have me blurt out my feelings for you."

"You know what I meant," Regina pushed herself off of Emma and stood up, still mostly covered by the water.

Emma was deciding whether she was amused by this side of Regina or afraid that there was a greater wrath she was working herself up to. It almost had her worrying she'd be single again by the time they made it back onto the beach. "Maybe we can talk Henry into the three of us having a sleepover at your house tonight," Emma suggested, as they started moving with the water toward the shore.

"And there goes the responsible parent…" Regina said sarcastically, but her eyes told Emma she wasn't really upset with her.

"Hey, you're the one who can't wait until our date tomorrow."

"Like I said yesterday, I miss you. However, I do have it in me to continue being patient, if it means our son won't feel forced to stay at my house if he isn't ready to yet and so we don't do anything to scar him," Regina said seriously, as they walked out of the water and collected the clothes they had littered the beach with. "Good luck getting your jeans back on over your wet legs."

"Like it'll be any easier getting your skirt back on," Emma shot back at the brunette with a smug look. But just as Emma finished speaking, a purple cloud engulfed Regina and quickly disappeared, leaving the brunette standing dressed and dry in front of Emma.

"That is so not fair!" Emma huffed.

"Too bad I've started limiting myself to using magic three times a week, and that the picnic table, the book disappearing, and changing into my clothes means that all magic use for this week is up," Regina taunted.

"You are so lucky I love you, right now."

The new, yet strangely familiar words had Regina's mocking smile faltering and she became serious. It only took her a few steps to get to Emma and she immediately took her hands, kissing her and trying desperately to say the words she couldn't get herself to verbally say back yet. They rested their foreheads together when they pulled apart, lost in each other's comforting warmth and erratic breathing.

"Regina, it's enough," Emma whispered, reassuring her one last time. "This…you, being with you is enough, ok?"

"I know," Regina kept her forehead pressed against Emma's. "I just don't want to disappoint you."

Emma kissed her lightly. "The only thing I'm disappointed by right now is how good we are at being moms that I have to wait until tomorrow for our date and how I've become some weird, responsible adult who thinks you should get to that paperwork instead of…_other _things."

Regina chuckled, as she pulled away from Emma. "I have to admit, I'm slightly disappointed by that too."

"Slightly?"

"I'll see you and Henry here around three thirty?" Regina pretended to ignore the question and walked over to the picnic table.

"Yeah, sounds good," Emma confirmed and jumped in surprise when a cloud of magic rose up around her body, leaving her dry and fully clothed in her jeans, tank top, and pullover. "You broke your rule."

Regina shrugged half-heartedly. "Couldn't let you parade around Storybrooke without clothes on."

"Jealous someone else might like what they see?"

Emma came up behind her and leaned in. She gasped when Regina turned her so she was pinned against the table. "Oh, they can look, but only _I _get to touch."

"I wouldn't want it any other way," Emma's hands found the ones Regina held her hips with.

"Which reminds me," The brown eyes that searched Emma's noticeably darkened. "Tomorrow I get to pick up where we left off out there."

"I have absolutely no problem with that."

With a satisfied smile, Regina lifted herself away from Emma, disconnecting them. "Now, go to work so Henry and I don't have to figure everything out alone later."

"I told you everything will be fine whether or not I'm here," Emma tried to ease away the worry that had returned in Regina's eyes and face.

"I'm still afraid," Regina revealed in a small voice without looking away from Emma.

"You're not going to do anything that'll make you lose him," Emma ran a hand down Regina's back, and she felt the other woman accepting the comfort and relaxing.

"What if he doesn't like that we're together?"

"Shouldn't we save that talk for another time?"

Regina nodded. "Yes, but he's Henry. He'll notice how something has changed."

"You're probably right," Emma conceded with a sigh. "Well, if he has any questions, we'll just answer them honestly, right?"

"Yes, we answer with the truth."

"We can handle this."

Regina exhaled and nodded, letting Emma's words convince her.

"I would think he'd want his moms to be happy. I would if I was him," Emma offered hopefully. "I'll see you later."

"Emma, I-" Regina found herself stopping Emma after she noticed the security of her arm falling away as the blonde took a step back. She wanted to thank Emma. She wanted to say the words, but they had caught in the back of her throat.

"I know," The blonde smiled and turned away, walking toward the path through the woods.

Regina watched her go, but the hope and confidence Emma had given her remained. Everything would be okay for once. It would work out. She wasn't sure how, but Emma finally had her believing that.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is still reading this and to those who have caught up, followed, and favorited! Also, a big thank you to everyone who has continued to review! I'm always happy to hear what you think and really do appreciate it! Here's the next update for you. I was hoping to get this up last weekend, but Henry was giving me some trouble. I'm going to warn you, you might want tissues for this update. Not sure if it will make you cry, but gosh, Henry and Regina sure had me tearing up while I was writing this…not to mention, Emma. But anyway, without further ado, here's the next chapter! **

**Chapter 8: Knowing How You Feel**

Queens didn't fidget.

At least that's what had been drilled over and over again into Regina Mills' head long ago, and was what played through Regina's mind on a loop, as she waited for Emma and Henry to arrive at the beach.

Queens always stayed composed, kept their posture perfect and their head high. They needed to carry a regal air about them at all times and remind their subjects that they were leaders; never were any insecurities or nerves allowed to be betrayed. And they definitely weren't supposed to bounce their foot up and down in nervous anticipation or wring their shaky hands every few seconds.

Unfortunately, all of those lessons in royal etiquette, manners, and "things queens did not do" were quickly being ignored and escaping Regina, as she sat on the wooden bench of the picnic table, playing with the sleeve of her dark blue shirt, rocking the small button at her wrist between her fingers. She tried to focus on the sun twinkling against the azure surface of the water, but her stomach was doing flips and tumbles within her, practically demanding her attention.

Maybe queens should never let on to what they were feeling, but in that moment Regina wasn't a queen, she was a mother. A mother, who had rarely seen her son during the past month because he didn't want to be around her…couldn't be around her. She was a mother who was afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing something that would cause her son to continue to pull away and alienate him forever.

For the thousandth time in the half hour since she had come back to the beach, Regina glanced over her shoulder, searching the perimeter where the sand met the woods, but there was still no one there. Henry and Emma technically weren't supposed to arrive for ten more minutes, but there was a hope and dread in Regina that they might be early.

It was almost three-thirty when Regina heard the crunching set of footsteps coming from behind the bushes and trees, heading down the gravel trail. Her head turned sharply to look toward the woods, but the rest of her body remained tense and immobile. Then, Henry's gleeful voice floated to her ears, mentioning something to who she assumed could only be Emma, about going to see a movie with David the following night. However, his bright tone stopped as soon as he stumbled through the brush and onto the beach, his eyes locking on hers immediately.

Emma came forward and placed a hand on his shoulder to ease his distress at the sight of his mother, while also seeking out Regina's eyes to make sure she was as alright as she could be in that situation. The blonde nodded toward her in greeting and support, as she gave Henry a light, encouraging push, before the two of them started walking further onto the beach and over to where Regina had slowly and shakily stood up.

Regina's hand remained on the wooden table, as she tested whether her legs were going to continue to support her or become rubbery and useless beneath her. Inside her chest, her heart was thumping with the nervousness that had her swallowing thickly, while further down her stomach became even more unsettled than it already was. Tears rose in her burning eyes, as Regina accepted her son was really there and walking toward her, his own eyes shifting to hers nervously. He stopped a few feet away from her, his hesitant gaze quickly leaving hers to find his sneakers. Neither moved, Regina too frozen and worried about doing the wrong thing, while Henry seemed to be feeling the same way in regards to his mother.

Emma groaned from beside them and Regina saw her head shaking back and forth in mildly frustrated disbelief. "Seriously, you two?" Both of them turned to her simultaneously, looking like they were trying to figure out why she was scolding them. Emma sighed at their joint confusion and how hasty they had been to turn away from each other. "I want to be here for you guys, but I didn't postpone the _plans _I had for today, just so I could watch you act all weird and guilty around each other. Since _someone _was begging me to let their mom come over last night, I didn't think I was going to have to do this."

Emma narrowed her eyes at Henry, who sent her a puzzled look when she stepped toward him and guided him the rest of the way to Regina, so they were no more than eight inches apart. Then, she crouched down beside him, so he had to bend his head to look at her.

"Like I said yesterday, just tell her what you told me," Emma suggested much more gently, her voice just above a whisper. Her eyes flicked up to Regina and her lips curved slightly upward, before she glanced back to Henry. "You don't know how much she needs to hear it."

Emma stood up again, her hands finding Henry's shoulders, while her eyes met Regina's over his head. So many different emotions were at war in the brown seas that were more flooded than usual. Emma reached out over Henry to rub her hand over Regina's arm reassuringly, reminding her she was there and guaranteeing her that only good could come out of this. Once the brunette had taken a deep breath and her eyes silently thanked Emma, the blonde's hand fell away from the other woman and settled on Henry's shoulder blade to give him a soft nudge.

Through Emma's encouragement, the little walls Henry had been hiding behind seemed to fall away and soon his arms moved out toward Regina.

"Mom," His voice was shaky and strangled by whatever emotions were rising inside of him. Regina's heart clenched at the childlike cry she hadn't heard since the last time her son snuck into her room in the middle of the night after a bad dream. The tears that glistened in his eyes had a few slipping down her own cheeks, and she opened her arms, so he could step inside.

Regina held him as tightly as she felt his arms hugging her, each of them giving and receiving the comfort they both longed for and needed. She cradled him against her, rocking them lightly, when she heard his shallow breaths and sniffles. Her head rested on his, tears falling into his hair, while her lips brushed against it in consoling, forgiving kisses.

Emma smiled to herself, as she watched the two people who had come to mean the most to her begin to fix what had fallen apart between them. Not wanting to interrupt the moment by reminding them she was there, Emma left their sides discreetly and moved to sit on the other side of the picnic table, but Regina had sensed her leaving and her eyes rose to find where she had gone. Emma held up her hands in an innocent surrender, mouthing that she was "right here", before she slung her legs over the bench and underneath the table. Regina seemed to be alright with that and let herself fall back into her son's embrace.

Henry whimpered into her shirt, "I don't hate you."

Regina tightened her arms around him, her heart aching with the truth she was relieved and grateful for.

"I didn't mean any of it. I'm so sorry."

"Shhh, I know," Regina ran a hand through his hair, trying to console the small body trembling with sadness and guilt in her arms. "I accept your apology. I love you so much, Henry."

He exhaled heavily and Regina felt his body relaxing even more against her. "I love you, too," He buried his head into her more, nestling against her chest.

"I'm so sorry you lost your father," Regina breathed out through her tears and kissed his head again.

"Me too," He wept into her shirt and she could feel the warm, wet tears seeping through the material. The way he cried broke Regina's heart and had more tears flowing from her eyes. "He shouldn't have had to die."

With his small, broken sob, Regina couldn't fight her own from escaping her and felt the small arms around her clutch her in order to console and be consoled. "No, Henry…no, he shouldn't have."

Regina thought back to Daniel and how his life had been ripped away from both of them and how unfair it was. She vividly remembered all of the pain she had been in for so long. She became haunted by the lives she had unfairly taken from others and was reminded of the agony and loneliness that had led to it, no matter how much those deeds disgusted her now. Then, Emma and the thought of almost losing her to Tamara shook her, and she wanted to collapse, but still managed to hold Henry because she knew he needed her. If he could be there keeping her from slipping to the ground, surely she could do the same for him.

From the picnic table, Emma could hear the anguish in their sobs. She saw how mother and son held each other, seeking and returning comfort; how they understood the other and knew without words that the other truly understood them. She wanted to go over, reach out to them and hold them, as their tears tried to wash the hurt away, but she let them be, even as tears leaked from her own eyes.

"They almost killed you too," Henry said lowly in his raspy voice, a tear sliding down his cheek that Regina didn't hesitate to wipe away. "And Emma. I was so scared."

"But they didn't," Regina reminded softly. She was surprised when she managed to give him a genuine smile through her blurry vision and wet cheeks. "Emma and I are fine. I'm just truly sorry I couldn't save Neal, too."

Henry shook his head, stepping back some. "It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I kept saying it was."

"I know, sweetheart. I only wish I was more powerful. I wish I could have saved him."

"You did all you could," Henry hugged her again. "You always said if I did my best it was enough, and that's what you did. I don't know why I got so mad at you."

"Sometimes when we lose people we feel we have to blame someone, and usually, we take it out on the person we find easiest to blame no matter how innocent or guilty they are."

"Archie said something like that too," Henry commented against her, then, let out something that sounded like a muffled, tormented growl. "It just hurt so much."

"I know," Regina rested her head on his again, running her fingers through his hair. "I really do.

"I'm sorry you lost Daniel. And your mom," Henry's sorrowful voice told her sincerely, causing Regina to stiffen at the words she hadn't expected him to say. "I almost lost my moms…both of you. I don't—that would have sucked. I never want that to happen. Especially, not that way. But that's kind of how you lost them. I'm sorry."

"You're right, Henry. It does…suck," Regina decided to echo his word choice, as much as she detested it. For the first time, she was aware of how he had been forced to grow up a little faster. She could tell that he was able to understand the darker things. Part of her mourned the innocence he had lost, while she also welcomed the empathy he had never been able to give before. "But you've always made it better. You've been my family. I'm thankful I could care for you and for all of the times you let me. I love you and I'll always be here for you."

"I'm glad you're my family, too. And Emma. If either of you died that day…"

Emma, who had been listening intently to their hushed conversation, which wasn't too difficult to hear through the natural quiet of the beach, finally stood up and walked over to them. They watched her use her sleeve to brush the tears off of her face. "Lucky for you," She cleared the emotion that was caught in her throat, accepting the arm Henry welcomed her with, as he pulled her into as much of a hug as he could without letting go of Regina. "You have two badass moms who know how much you need both of us and would do everything to save the other's life if they could."

Regina smiled at her and lifted her hand from Henry's waist to caress Emma's lower back with a brief touch. Emma's free hand reached back to meet Regina's fingers tenderly, before they fell back to their son.

"And your dad cared about you enough to do anything to stop Tamara and Greg from taking you away from all of us. He was making sure nothing bad happened to you or the people you care about. He did a lot of stupid things in the past, but that—that was heroic," Emma wiped the warm tears off her cheeks, as she looked down at him. "It hurt, Henry. I know it did and still does. But trust me; Neal knew what it was like to lose a dad. He wouldn't have wanted to leave you. Not unless saving you was more important."

Emma took a deep breath, looking toward the water and hoping the breeze would cool the burning behind her eyes and within her cheeks. "And I know it made you face the fact that your family is human and we're not going to be here forever. All of it woke me up to that again, too, and it's scary. I'm scared as hell of losing you, Mary Margaret, David, your mom…but all of us will always do everything we can to keep you from going through anything like this alone. I promise."

"We promise," Regina corrected, stroking the back of Henry's head, as he kept an arm desperately around each of them.

"Does it ever go away?" Henry asked quietly, searching Emma's eyes, before staring into Regina's. "Every time I think about my dad, my stomach hurts and my heart feels funny. I get upset and angry and I've been crying way too much. Is it going to feel that way forever?"

"Oh, Henry," Regina squeezed him a little tighter, flashing back to all of the times she had wondered the same thing and had no one to ask. "I wish I could say that it stops, or that I could make it go away. It won't always feel exactly like that, but you never really go back to the way you felt before. You might not get as angry or you won't feel the need to cry every time you think of him, but it's always there. One day, you probably won't notice the loss as much, but something inside of you will feel the need to randomly remind you something is missing..._someone_. You have so many people in your life who love you, though. Whenever you feel that way just know that we're all here for you."

"We are," Emma confirmed. "I get those same feelings, Henry. I know what you're going through with this. You don't even have to say anything. Just give me a sign and I'll sit with you or do whatever you need me to. I'm here whenever you need to talk. Your mom's not a bad listener either," Emma met Regina's eyes. "And you know she gets it, too."

"I know," Henry stared up at Regina. "I'm good at listening, too. In case you guys ever need someone to talk to."

"I might take you up on that offer at some point," Emma ruffled his hair. "Don't worry; I'll bring two mugs of hot chocolate along."

"Sounds good," Henry smiled, then, turned back to Regina. "Maybe one day, you can tell me the important stuff my book left out? I want to know, and I think I'm ready to understand."

Regina bent her head to kiss his forehead, believing he was ready, too, and that it was time to tell him. Maybe it would help him to accept her and Emma's relationship, too, whenever they decided he should know. Not that she wanted him to pity her and feel like he had to accept them being a couple, but because she wanted him to understand the true value of what she and Emma had found together. Why they were both willing to fight and work for the happiness they had discovered, and how they had come to love each other.

"Soon," She promised.

"Good," Henry released Emma to wrap his arms around Regina again. "Thanks for coming here and for everything."

"Thank you," Regina hugged him back, not taking the last moments she would be able to hold him for granted, before he and Emma would leave the beach. "I'm glad we were able to talk."

"I'm happy, too."

Emma could hear the way they were both working up to the goodbyes that would be spoken inevitably. Henry was getting there, but she could sense he wasn't quite ready to go back to living with Regina. There was still some healing he had to do and more mending that had to take place in his relationship with his other mom, before he'd be ready for whatever arrangement they came up with to allow both of them to spend time with him. The good news was, if her relationship Regina kept going the way it was, it was likely that finding a way for both of them to be in his life every day, wouldn't give them all a headache or start an unwanted game of tug-o-war again.

"How much homework do you have, kid?" Emma wondered, finding it illogical to leave when the three of them could all be spending time together as the family they wanted to, but had yet, to really be.

Henry and Regina squinted at her in unison at the random question.

"Umm…" Henry seemed to think it over, not leaving his mother's arms. "Not much. It'll probably take me half an hour."

"What do you say the three of us go to Granny's for dinner, then?" Emma grinned, seeing Henry's face light up, and then, Regina's when he nodded his head and she knew he wasn't going to reject her.

"I think that sounds like a good idea," Henry let go of Regina to take her hand. "Want to come eat with us, Mom?"

"I'd love to," Regina squeezed the hand she held.

"Great! I'm starving!" Henry said excitedly, using his arms to wipe away any remaining evidence of his crying. "Last one to Emma's car buys dessert!"

"You only get dessert if you eat your dinner!" Emma called, as they watched him run toward the trees.

"Someone's starting to sound like a mom," Regina smirked.

"What can I say? I've learned from the best," Emma laced their fingers together and they began to follow Henry.

"You were right," Regina smiled at her. "We both needed that."

Emma laughed. "Normally, I'd gloat, but I'm just happy we're all going to dinner together."

"Me too," Regina stopped them and made sure Henry was far enough around the winding trail that he wouldn't see them. She leaned in and captured Emma's lips in a soft kiss. "Thank you."

"I didn't do much, but you're welcome," Emma brought them together in another, quicker kiss.

"You've done more than you know."

"And that makes me happy," The blonde rested her forehead on Regina's, allowing them to lose themselves in each other for a moment, before she pulled away and made them start walking again, so Henry wouldn't get too far ahead. "If you want me there when you talk to him, let me know and I will be."

"I figured you were just going to show up with the hot chocolate," Regina winked.

Emma chuckled, "You know me well, but I thought I'd be polite and offer first."

"Thank you," Regina leaned her head against Emma's arm. "And thank you for inviting me to dinner."

"Hey, there was a chance for potential family time and I didn't want to waste it," Emma shrugged with a grin, then, after a beat, "You haven't seen him in forever and before that, you weren't exactly spending time together or living under the same roof. I'm not just going to stand by and let that be taken away from both of you now. He needs to trust you again and pulling him away from you isn't going to help with that."

"Do you think he'll ever come home?" Regina asked in a small voice.

Emma let go of the hand she was holding to slide her arm around Regina. "Of course, he will. Not this week, but soon. Who knows, by the time he's ready, maybe I will be, too."

"You want to move in?" Regina's eyes widened slightly.

"Not right now," Emma shook her head with a smile at Regina's initial shock. "I haven't even had time to start leaving some of my stuff at your house. But in a few weeks, a month…if you're okay with it, of course, I want to move in."

"We haven't even had our date yet," Regina smiled coyly, trying to ignore the fluttering in her heart and the good flips and tumbles now happening in her stomach.

"Well, good thing we only have to wait twenty-four more hours for that," Emma kissed Regina's temple.

"It's a very good thing," Regina sighed happily. "And I'll buy dessert tonight. I think we could all use some ice cream."

"Sounds good to me, since I'll be paying for the very special dessert I have planned for tomorrow," Emma whispered against Regina's ear, sending a shiver through her body.

"I'm sure I'll enjoy it," Regina replied with a heavy breath. "Unfortunately, we should probably focus on dinner with our son now, if we don't want to be interrogated by our eleven year old."

"You're probably right," Emma nodded and went back to holding Regina's hand with a close, but safe distance between their bodies.

When they finally made their way out of the woods, they saw Henry waiting for them by the road. He waved his hand, telling them to follow him, before he turned and started jogging in the direction of the diner.

"As much as I'm looking forward to our alone time tomorrow, I'm so happy I can spend time with him tonight," Regina admitted, her voice catching in her throat.

"If there's one thing I love as much as time with you, it's time with both of you."

"I know," Regina smiled warmly. "I wouldn't trade this for anything."


End file.
